Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Speedy Rant

Dear Transfer Student,

I appreciate your situation, where you are transferring to Private College here in the sticks after four years at Whereverthehellyouwere College. I feel your confusion when you emailed and said you wanted to switch from basketweaving to hamsterology, and yes, I am the head guru of hamsterology at Private College.

Thus, I was willing to meet you last week, during my summer break when I am not on contract, so you will have a great experience at Private College. Alas, you had an ill grandmother. Yes, I understand, we can reschedule to another time during the summer when I am not on contract. Monday, you say? Sure.

Oh, wait...you didn't bother to reply about Monday when I agreed. I'm guessing this didn't work out for you, and now you expect me to be available whenever DURING THE SUMMER WHEN I AM NOT ON CONTRACT?

Stick to basketweaving.

Dr. Sapphire


  1. I'm so wary of transfer students, even though I have encountered some that I was very happy came to our program.

    I had one of these today. I woke up early, put on actual clothes (not my shorts and a t-shirt) and went in to my office. Transfer student did not show up. She did email me later today to ask me to email her a schedule for the next three years so she would know what classes she would be taking and when (yeah, let me get right on that).

  2. I've got one like this, only she's just a change of major who doesn't seem to get that I'm not sitting on campus, like, at all, being that I'm not on for summer! I don't mind meeting, I'm on campus working out and all, but still, I'm not just going to hang out there in the hopes that this student finds her way to my office.

  3. Time to put a vacation message on your email, signifying your unavailability until you are on contract (sadly, for me, I think that's in about 6 days, though things don't really start happening until the week after that).

  4. "....and now you expect me to be available whenever DURING THE SUMMER WHEN I AM NOT ON CONTRACT?"

    It would be better if you said that to the student's face, while punctuating every word by slapping a lead-weighted pool cue against your desk.

    1. Unfortunately, that would require the student to actually show up in Dr. Sapphire's office.

  5. This student seems typical of many of her generation. She likely grew up in a social setting where movies, music, and news are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and are available on demand whenever she wants them. She probably figures that services and the people who provide them should be as well, so why shouldn't professors or instructors?