Sunday, September 15, 2013

3 Years Ago on CM. From the Monkey.

You're pulling RANK?????

I got an old-school style plagiarized paper today.

The paper ended abruptly. I thought: this isn't right. It also had really smooth style. Totally not right! So I googled the final sentence.

It didn't come from Wikipedia.
It didn't come from
It didn't come from Facebook.

It came from a very slim 1958 book on the subject!! Dude had to type it up by hand, because only PDFs of the book exist through Google books. OLD SKOOL!! Part of me is impressed the guy worked so hard. The other part of me pissed, because it's the first plagiarized paper of the class and I thought that starting the semester off with a long discussion on this would nip it in the bud.

(I know, I was trying my damnedest to be naive)

I email the kid with my standard stern-ness, followed by a chance to come clean. Guy responds: AND PULLS RANK:

"Mrs Monkey" he begins (they ALL assume I'm married), "As a Ranking Colonel in the army protecting your life and freedom, I am appalled at your accusation of plagiarism.... I refuse to except [sic] your grade and will challenge the school about this." [Long discussion of paper, inaccurate explanation of what is IN the paper] And grand finale: "I work long and hard to keep you safe and I think you did the wrong to right [sic] me and accuse me of Plagiarism. Grammer [sic] and spelling I can stand, Sir, but not Plagiarism." End of communication. With a "sir" when he started with a "Mrs."

So I've done what he asked: I filed a formal plagiarism report. With a copy of the verbatim page. Colonel or not, this ranking officer is about to get a confirmation of "cheating" on his permanent record. And to think: all he had to do is apologize and rewrite the essay for 1/2 credit.

Fucker. Now I'm drinking in the late afternoon! I'm supposed to wait until after dinner, after the grading.


  1. Is that Academic Monkey? Ms. Monkey, you're still did the story end? Is he a general now? Or maybe an exec at a defense contractor? (I suppose that's where colonels go if they don't become generals.)

    1. You know, this was quite awhile ago and I had to go back to my emails to remember.

      Rank or no rank, the Code of Conduct Committee found this high-ranking army dude guilty of plagiarism and suspended him for 6 months.

      Not sure if he ever came back.

    2. Good thing too, since this fellow was totally out of line. If you'd reported his behavior to his commanding officer (CO), or at least the CO of the local ROTC unit, it would have been either a fairly serious offense under military law (the plagiarism itself, since the course was paid for with military funding) or a MAJOR offense under military law (misrepresenting his rank). The former would have halted any advancement in his military career; the latter would have ended the career outright, and quite possibly have put him in the brig.

  2. I saw someone try something like this about 10 years ago outside academia. After being called on some bad behavior he started in on "I was a Lieutenant in the US Army, and I am defending your freedom,...etc, etc, etc." The nice part? The guy he tried this on was a Major in the Army and a West Point grad. oops. (FYI, the major was then reserves so he was not in uniform)

  3. A requirement for an officer's rank is (usually) a college degree. How he managed to attain and keep rank without being able to differentiate between accept/except and right/write,and not only misspell but capitalize grammar makes me think that he's using a very large shovel to pile on the lies.

    And do people think that capitalizing something give it importance? Grammar, Plagiarism, etc. Or has plagiarism become a recognized religion like Buddhism, Taoism, Rastafanarianism, Presbyterianism, Catholicism, et al?