Second Chance Saturday. "Miserable Little Sycophant."

We're floating a new feature, Second Chance Saturday. We've picked a post that did not receive much love the first time around, and are re-posting it in the dead zone of Saturday...

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Dear Sniveling Sycophant,

 You will, no doubt, someday be made dean. I don't particularly look

forward to that day, but at least I have the consolation that you are -- as we all quite clearly recognize -- an absolute idiot. We have read your emails with all their, let us say, nonstandard grammar. We have heard you hold forth at faculty meetings. Why, pray tell, do the stupidest members of the faculty always adopt that "you are all idiots and so I must tell ye," tone? We have all (most of us, actually, but parallelism is important) served with you on committees. You, sir, are stupid.

 Yes, well, conceded: you are actually of average intelligence. But you are surrounded by highly intelligent people, most of whom see through you. So while the administration lies to us, screws us over, and guts our programs, you smile and applaud it all. Yes, the administration has made some good decisions. Our doors are still open, after all. Students (kind of) come in. We get paid. But didn't you notice a few things? Like, course caps raising slowly but surely? Increased numbers of exploited adjuncts? A gutting of some academic programs to pay for athletics? Lack of funds for research and conferences? Are you blind? Have you no values?

 Someday, you will be reading my student evaluations and writing my annual review. But you should know a few things. I know you. I know what you are, and I have tenure. Moreover, I have always wanted to move to Seattle and open an indie bookstore/recordshop. You can't frighten me. So, good luck with that, you ass kissing sniveling miserable sycophant.