Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Speedy Rant

Seriously, why can't they follow simple directions?

Me:  "Submit your comments to Blackhole Board."

Jimmie:  "I emailed it to you, is that okay?"

Kylie:  "I printed it out, is that okay?"

Billie:  "I prefer Google Drive.  I submitted it there, okay?"

Davie:  "My mom submitted it for me, is that okay?"

Dannie:  "I emailed it to the chair of the department, is that okay?"

I seriously cannot understand their absolute inability to follow directions.  It's like they're deliberately pushing to see how much of their work I'll do for them.  And then they get huffy.  "I emailed it to you, didn't you get it?"  Um, I have a lot of better things to do than do your work for you?  Like, say, grading papers, teaching classes?  "Huff!"

"I couldn't submit it!  The computer wouldn't let me."  No, time wouldn't let you.  At my back I always hear, time's winged chariot hurrying near, but you evidently are deaf to deadlines.  The deadline is past.  That ship has sailed.

Seriously, you'd think people with doctorates would be better at following directions.  I can't wait for my term as secretary of faculty senate to end.


  1. This was absolutely hilarious! Especially since much of my own misery comes from fellow profs these days!

  2. My fiance used to be the main secretary for the Dean of Humanities at a different institution. She said she would routinely tell faculty that things were due in two weeks before they really were, just so there would be a CHANCE the stuff would get in on time.

  3. Deadlines? Instructions? What do you think I am, an undergraduate?

    I once suggested creating a page for discussion of departmental issues on Blackhole. The chair agreed to give it a shot, but it never got off the ground.

    The only pleasure of being on (small) committees is seeing my colleagues once in a while, and chatting with them. Professional email I instinctively associate with "chore, general unpleasantness".

    I hope you're using your time on the Faculty Senate to give adminiflakes a hard time. That's what I'd do, which is why I'll never be on it.

  4. That's why I have the "on paper in my hands" by due date thingy. I don't trust electronic stuff in the hands of devious learners.

  5. My time dealing with submissions for our academic council has made me a little more chill about my students inability to follow directions because I now know what kind of people are in charge of their other courses. Either I'm the only one who cares about directions, or those other instructors are hypocrites.

    Bravo on the well-crafted rant!

  6. I posted my comment on Facebook. I hope you can find it there.

  7. I printed mine out and slid it under a door.

  8. HA! Genius. I'm a PhD student and part of the department's graduate student association, and I see this stuff every week from them too. Hilariously, we have so many conversations about how our students can't follow directions, get stuff done on time, etc. But somehow it just doesn't compute for them.