Why do we start out young and grow old, when the other way would be more fun? Why can't students buy a $3 stapler when they have a $300 phone?
What is the sound of one hand clapping, and why can I hear that soccer player's balls slapping against his thigh when he comes to class straight out of bed without a cup, underwear, ad nauseum, heavy on the nausea?
Why is there something rather than nothing, and why does Betty Boop the sophomore think I don't remember how she called me a witch when she was a freshman?
Why did God punish Walt but not Jesse, and why do my students know more about TV than I do? (I mean, I try to keep up.)
Why do birds fly and rats scurry, and why didn't my colleague with the bad breath get born as a rat instead of as my colleague?
Why does the water in the ocean not shoot up into the sky with all the revolving we do? Why was I born with this straight fucking hair when I'd give anything to have it curly?