The past 24 hours has seen some hurt feelings on the blog. What an amazing surprise.But I want to ask all of you to take it a bit more in stride. If you don't like what someone has said on the page, feel free to reply with, "I'm offended. I don't think this in keeping with this blog." That's much better than sending me a note threatening to leave the page and suggesting I'm special friends with the person who's offended you. I cannot control every thing. I don't want to control every thing.
And when you think I've botched things by not vetting posts properly, or not sanctioning people the right way - or at all - try being nice about it. Don't do like Prickly Prof did by writing and calling me clueless and a much worse moderator than Fab was. Shit, Prick-ly, I know all of that. But this is what it is, honey. This is the blog as it is now. If I'm doing such a bad job, please feel free to read some other blog. You don't seem to like anyone here anyway, so I'm betting you just like seeing your name in print every now and again.
After I took over again, I swear to God I got tested more and more with little tiny jabs through the email, and the occasional testing comment on the page. I don't want to spend time weighing each offense and zapping comments. It's grueling and no fun. And it creates a whole other level of things.
Mean Prof, you didn't like the fox post. Okay. But you just had to comment on it and make someone feel small, right? You are not dumb. You're bright. I've read your comments. You only commented in order to make someone feel bad. Does that sound like a useful thing, knowing what you know about the people who have tried to run this page for the past three years? If you want to exercise on someone, pick a blog where the dismissive and combative are relished.
It makes me fucking crazy to have to write posts ABOUT the blog, but it always feels as if it's teetering on the edge, with longtime members freaking out about this or the other. I'm not going to let open hostility erupt in the comments, but we can all do a better job of letting the page run freely and with limited moderation if we just let some things go. (I'm referring to a number of emails over the past 2 weeks by folks who felt their contributions were not taken seriously or in the spirit in which they were sent.)
Oh, and Suzy is not a homophobe. What the fuck is wrong with you? If I get one more email like that I'm just going to replace the whole fucking page with my hubby's fantasy football page. His team is 7-1, he's got a bunch of Denver Bronco receivers, and he's a sexy beast.
LK
Sorry, Leslie K. I'll keep my overreactions to a minimum. And for the record, I LIKE this new you of just calling people out. I like it a lot! :)
ReplyDeleteContemplative Cynic said, "And for the record, I LIKE this new you of just calling people out. I like it a lot! :)"
DeleteNice to know you support her ignoring the blog rules THAT SHE SET UP! LOL
"Getting real," indeed.
The Rules of Misery are in effect, developed by the original moderator. I will use them in an appropriate way.
DeleteAnd, Myth, you know full well you've run afoul the page before. Don't act surprised. You're welcome here, but you know this is a moderated page for academics who want to commiserate about the profession. It's a not a place to take cheap shots at people you think you're smarter than.
I'm asking for better from you.
LK
I remember The Myth under his other name back in the goon old days. He is very smart. I admire a lot of what he had to say, but he did go out of his way to belittle others. Since RYS was moderated, I was able to share the good shit he wrote, and stop the stupid stuff. He looked like a genius with a little editing.
DeleteLes, this is a tough job and I wish you well with it. I don't know how Fab did it without combusting. He took each insult for someone else personally, as if he himself had allowed it. I've said before that Les is the person I'd like running things for me, and I stand by it.
Nowhere in the rules does it say that the Mods cannot call out people in public who are assholes to them in private.
DeleteOh dear. Again?
ReplyDeleteIf I may throw this out there: if you think there are privileged people in the world, you are right. If you think this blog has a subjective way of doing things, you are right.
If you think this matters, you are wrong.
Most of the subjective applications of rules has to do with when the mod has a free moment or happens to check in. It has much, much LESS to do with who is privileged or favorited or whatever you think is going on.
This blog is so meaningful and so meaningless all at once. Nothing is personal because we are all anonymous. Now if I knew you and we worked together, that would be different. But this is all voluntary spewing and venting.
When I get over-heated on this blog, I flit away for a few weeks. And then I come back. I always come back. Because this blog is the best blog.
Hang in there, Les, and call 'em like you see 'em (and feel free to ignore the email when Saturday night w/ hubby calls. This blog is not an online class and you're not an underpaid "customer service agent." The whole thing -- especially the email -- will still be there in the morning, or even on Monday)
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I was a little surprised by parts of Suzy's post, simply because she seems like the sort of person who keeps up on the news, and it's kind of hard to avoid news of the legalization of same-sex marriage, the rise in same-sex couples parenting, and Supreme Court decisions regarding same. Celebrate them or hate them, people generally seem aware of these trends, and I don't think that's just an illusion induced by my big-coastal-city perspective. But I'm not inclined to think that Suzy is a homophobe, just that something in the post didn't come out quite as clearly as she meant it (maybe a question about why this couple had chosen pregnancy -- assuming they chose it, which is certainly more likely with two women, but not, as Prof. Chiltepin pointed out, a foregone conclusion -- at this particularly busy point in their lives?) . I kind of hoped she'd come back and explain a bit more, but I don't blame her for not doing so in the present environment, though I thought the feedback on the post itself was pretty polite (or maybe I didn't see some of it?)
I'll also admit that, even though I'm strongly in favor of same-sex marriage, I find myself having to stop and parse what I've read or heard to make sure I understood correctly when I hear/read a woman refer to her wife or a man to his husband. I'm glad to hear such references in casual conversation, and I like what they represent, but, as Flamen points out, adjusting to new social (and linguistic) norms takes a bit of time, even if one is happy about the change. Time will take care of that; in a generation or two, no one's established linguistic circuits will go wonky in such situations.
Football? Did someone mention football?
ReplyDeleteLook, if some want to bitch using the pretense of online anonymity, call them on it. Post the email and let the rest of us have some fun. And tell them to bring cookies to the next meeting at compound.
Yeah, Leslie, the unpaid job you're doing on a weekend to provide us entertainment doesn't provide us with all with the exact entertainment we wish to receive at the exact moment we read it. Please be more careful and delete everything I don't like (I will email you a full list of everything I don't like. It's alphabetical. Starts with aardvarks. They carry syphilis. That's also on the list, but later.), and make it mandatory that everyone likes all my posts and praises me for them repeatedly. In return for doing this (volunteer) job, I will make sure to anonymously snipe at you and compare you to other moderators on a regular basis, because I, I am a dickhead.
ReplyDeleteIt might be worth reminding people of the G.I.F.T. http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19
Hah--that's a good one, and so accurate. What is it about anonymity that brings out the asshole in people?
DeleteWho does your husband pick for next week's Bears game? I could use some insider info.
ReplyDeleteI say just change the rules if you want to, Les. I have not even read them carefully. Or don't, and just apply them as you want. There is a new Sherriff in town, and all that.
ReplyDeleteI love this place, and though I often think our days are numbered, I will enjoy it while it is here.
You know, I think Suzy is the da bomb, but I admit, I read a little of her most recent post and just lost steam. I think something did not quite sit right. So I just didn't read it.
Why take offense if you can just take off? It is not like this is required reading, or anything. And I think we have all written something here that did not come off quite as we wanted it to. Sigh.
Leslie, please keep doing what you do. You are a gem without price.
ReplyDeleteAt a bad juncture of my life, I was talking to my father and he told me that A.A. starts its meetings with the Serenity Prayer. Neither he nor I am particularly religious, though we live in the Bible Belt. I was no stranger to the prayer, but for once I really paid attention to the words regarding changing the things I can, accepting the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Over time I realized that goes hand-in-hand with being able to differentiate what was worth getting upset about and what wasn't. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. Some are just overworked.
There have been things written in the blog that I haven't agreed with, but the most I've ever been tempted to do is offer another viewpoint. Otherwise, I just scroll on to the next item.
I've found a great way to avoid non-critical arguments, especially political ones. If, after a discussion the other party keeps trying to show me how wrong I am, I just say, "Yes, you're right." It takes the wind right out of their sails. I just keep agreeing with them until they leave me alone. I won't sign any petitions I don't agree with, I just give them the agreement they want. They're fairly sure I don't mean it, but it's a nice way of signaling the end of the argument.
Leslie, you rule.
ReplyDeleteMany other people suck.
As for The Myth getting shirt with you about breaking the rules...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvJiYrRcfQo
BAM!
Dang. Other things have been on my mind, but it sounds like that's for the best. I still cannot for the life of me figure out people who harass the mods.
ReplyDeleteLet's call it a night. The mail has been so kind, including a number of others who I've seriously Beverly heard from before. I am grateful to you all for your comments here. Truly I'm not a martyr though it looks like I played it that way. I just hate taking the licks in private and being supposed to just smile in my prettu dress.
ReplyDeleteLet's get back to the real misery.
XOXOXO
LK
Sorry, posted this under the CM master login a minute ago. I've pulled Monday-Wed mod duty since Terry is unavailable - going to Vancouver, the lazy bugger.
DeleteAnyway:
Well said, Les. And she's right. It's remarkable how much GOOD mail comes in, too. I know I was always prone to focusing on the complainers - it's just my nature. But I kept RYS going long after its reasonable life because folks were so kind about it.
Can't wait for a new week of misery. Who's got something to curl our toes?
I've been scared and battered.
DeleteMy hopes the wind done scattered.
Snow has friz me, Sun has baked me,
Looks like between 'em
they done Tried to make me
Stop laughin', stop lovin', stop livin'--
But I don't care! I'm still here!
-LH
Capricious horses by Vladimir Vysotsky
ReplyDeleteRussian title: Koni priveredlivye
By the edge, near the cliff, at the very, very limit
I am beating at my horses with my arm, a whiplash in it.
I'm not getting enough air - drinking wind, the fog imbibing,
And I scent with deadly rapture: I am dying, I am dying!
Just a little slower, horses, little slower now!
Do not listen to the sharp whip, it is wrong!
But the horses that I got are capricious ones
I can't live to the end, I can't finish my song.
I will let horses drink - the couplet I will sing
For a little bit more I will stand on the brink...
I will vanish - like a piece of dust by wind I will blown,
In the morning they will drag me in the sleigh through the snow,
O my horses, walk some slower, show a bit of moderation
Just a little bit, prolong my way to final destination!
Just a little slower, horses, little slower now!
Do not listen to the sharp whip, it is wrong!
But the horses that I got are capricious ones
I can't live to the end, I can't finish my song.
I will let horses drink - the couplet I will sing
For a little bit more I will stand on the brink...
We are here: nobody comes late here to greet the Lord of Heaven -
Then, why do the angels sing with voices so angry and heavy?
Or the bell does shake from weeping, weeping gently, weeping deeply,
Or I'm shouting to the horses that they do not run so quickly?
Just a little slower, horses, little slower now!
I pray to you don't hurry along!
But the horses that I got are capricious ones
I can't live to the end, I can't finish my song.
I will let horses drink - the couplet I will sing
For a little bit more I will stand on the brink....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zGf4hlzgYg
NEVER screw around with volunteers. I appreciate your sharing this with us, Leslie, and thank you for all of your hard work. Now I need to go and read the rest of today's posts (if they're still there.)as I chose to hang around Pinterest all afternoon.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't like what you read here, then don't bitch at poor Leslie! Just go away!
...bunch of academics at the top of our disciplines and we still need Mommy and Daddy in order for us to all get along...
ReplyDeleteOnly a real asshole would call Les a bitch. She's one of the guys!! She's a bastard if she's anything.
ReplyDeleteSMOOCH.