What I would so dearly LOVE to do. However, I think the retention demons would not approve.
I have some bad news for you. We need you to come and pick Chuck-ee up tomorrow morning. Do not arrive before 11 - you seriously do not want to see the condition Chuck-ee will be in before then.
You need to take Chuck-ee to his own apartment, set him up with some information on finding a job that is not with your family or a family friend and leave him.
He will probably fail for a while, and go through a few jobs. This will be good for him and cheaper than college for you. If it makes you feel better, you can pay his rent and his health insurance for a while. Do not pay for everything. Working for things like a car and its insurance and his cell phone bills is part of how you will be helping him. People take the bus and live without smart phones all the time.
Here's the thing, Mrs. Chuck-ee's Mom: Chuck-ee is smart enough. He can manage to pull together some charm at times, and uses this to his advantage by getting others to look the other way as he does not meet his responsibilities. He is also extremely lazy and seriously, he needs to grow the frak up.
I know he was like this high school, and that with the help of kindly teachers who knew your expectations of them he managed to make it through high school and do pretty well.
I know you hoped that college would either be more of the same, or that we could fix him.
We can't. We shouldn't. We won't.
He doesn't need to see a therapist about his executive function issues. He doesn't need a learning disability diagnosis. Sloth is not a disability. He needs the cold, hard slap of seeing what the world hands to people who want to try as little as possible and always get away with something.
He'll be ok, I promise. Like I said, he's smart enough. But if you leave things the way they are, he will just keep breaking your heart.
Chuck-ee's advisor, Dr. Amelia