"Dr. John Smith, Ph.D."
Not just John Smith, Ph.D.
Doctor John Fucking Smith, Ph.D.
Not just thirsty.
Thirsty for some kind of liquid to go down my throat.
Oddly enough, I'm probably not thirsty for dry, hot dirt.
Oh, on the other hand, shit, maybe I am actually thirsty for that goddamned dry, hot dirt.
Yes, shove that dry, hot dirt down my throat.
Because I'm Dr. John Smith, Ph.D.