Thursday, November 14, 2013

Speedy Rant of the Refrigerator

Dear colleague-who-leaves-open containers of foul-smelling food on my shelves: I am NOT your personal refrigerator. The sliced raw onions that you insist on eating with each meal "for health reasons" stink up the whole office every time someone opens my door.

For Duck's sake, put your food in a container with a lid or take a supplement "for health reasons." The yogurt on the second shelf has moved as far away from the onions as possible, and even he now smells of onions, and it's gross. I work really hard to keep your food cold, and your onions give me a bad rep.

12 comments:

  1. What I took from this story is that yogurt is just too cool to be caught near the awkward guy with a mild case of BO. The fact that refrigerator is glorifying this type of mental bullying is cold man, just cold.

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    1. Nice pun there. I see what you did with the cold. ;)

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  2. Bet the Fridge hates garlic, too. And heaven help any fish that passes through.

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    1. If someone brings an unconverted plate of raw fish to work, I don't know what the refrigerator will do, but I don't think it would smell as bad as the onions do. It's nearing rotten potato proportions!

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    2. And by "unconverted," I meant "uncovered," but the image of heathen fish makes me giggle.

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    3. That gives me the giggle snorts as well, CC. But where does gefilte fish land on that conversion scale?

      Incidentally, my spell Czech wants to change "gefilte" to "Gentile."

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  3. I'm always about ten minutes away from installing a nanny cam in our shared fridge. Somebody is getting my lactose free yogurt. Twice this semester. It's a brand that's sold at a lot of natural food stores in the area, and certainly people besides me eat it, but I PUT MY INITIALS ON IT ONCE AND IT STILL GOT SWIPED.

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    1. That's just wrong!!! Wait... Was yours the yogurt on the bottom shelf that someone had named? It was really good. Thanks.

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  4. This is too funny. Mr Refrigerator: Get a fridge alarm! Compound Cal, have you thought of protecting the yogurt by putting it one of those "Human Organ for Transplant" lunch bags?

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