by Galanty Miller
The reason that college professors are socially incompetent is because it takes a socially incompetent person to become a college professor. Normal people with friends and healthy social lives don't want to sit in a classroom when they're thirty-one years old; they want to live adult lives.
Normal people want to have a job when they're twenty-nine years old; they don't want to sit at home doing research for their 300-page dissertation that nobody wants to read. If I'm Tom Hanks in Castaway, stranded on a desert island for years with nothing to do but read your doctoral thesis, I still wouldn't read your crappy, tedious dissertation. I might paint a face on it and befriend it, but I wouldn't read it. ("Wilson! Your bibliography is freakin' 16 pages long!")