Terry is absolutely hilarious, someone who sees the absurdity in our profession as well as anyone I've ever met. And Cal is about the smartest person I've ever met who still works in academe! They are both great people, and Cal especially has spent long Skype hours with me helping me learn some of the myriad things he did "behind the scenes" to keep this page alive.
I will miss their presence on these pages.
Both lazy, irresponsible drunks. I never saw either one of them sober. Not once. They were both trouble right from the start. They were slobs. Did you ever see them eat? Starving children could fill their bellies on the food that ended up on the beards and clothes of Terry and Cal. Dogs would gather to watch them eat. I never understood gluttony, but I hated it. I hated that about them. They enjoyed disgusting people, that thrill of offending people and making them uncomfortable. They were despicable. They will not be missed.
ReplyDeleteNever mind. I thought Hiram was doing a eulogy. If they're both still alive, then I love them.
DeleteThis is like a roast, right? I've never done this before. Here is my contribution. I hope I don't cross the line of what is appropriate for this page.
ReplyDeleteBoth of Cal and Terry, on separate occasions, borrowed my stapler to use at their desk but didn't return it for over half an hour. I am almost certain that they didn't have that much stapling to do. (I counted the staples afterwards and noted that they only used one or two.) Indeed, I suspect that they each decided that returning my stapler was less important than some other stuff they needed to do first.
Just to be clear: despite my strong language, I am not seething with anger about the stapler incidents. Thanks for all the work you did for CM!
I recommend that the RGM hire both as consultants for the page and pay them twice their previous salary.
I love both these guys, and will miss them! Terry and Cal, thank you so much for everything you have done for CM!!
ReplyDeleteBoys are so weird! But I'll play.
ReplyDeleteTerry once exchanged my orange juice with kitty pee. He laughed, but I exchanged his bacon for TURKEY bacon!
Even though I'm a lesbian, I made 5 sextapes with Cal. They were all blurry and poorly edited.
XOXO
Kimmie
Cal once asked me to dance, and then pretended he'd asked my wife to dance. She went, too. I've not seen her since.
ReplyDeletedoes that mean there are only two of us left??
ReplyDeleteJust Slim and None, and I think Slim just left town.
DeleteApparently, and now I'm not quite sure who I am. Then again, if Kimmie has correctly identified the options, I must, by process of elimination, be None (well, unless Slim is ironically (nick)named).
DeleteMany, many thanks to both of you. It won't be the same without you!
ReplyDeleteAnd even more thanks to those who are carrying on -- the RGM and, I gather, Hiram (it's always good to know whom to blame for the graphics, the latest awful redesign of the page, the overly light/heavy moderation, etc., etc.)
Just to be clear, since I changed tone from serious to facetious somewhere in midstream there: I am entirely satisfied with the graphics, the design of the page, and the moderation (okay, some designs I like better than others, but in the end I'm a text person, so any design that isn't so obtrusive that it distracts me from the text works just fine for me).
DeleteOh, yes, the moderation. It's either suffocating or, "My GOD WHERE ARE THE MODERATORS???"
ReplyDeleteI'm one of the supreme assholes who often corresponded with Fab, Cal and Leslie, and I have to say they are the most patient group of academics I've ever met.
I hate to hear that Terry is gone, too. It's shitty. But I hope someone keeps the page going.
My best to Terry and Cal - thanks for everything! Especially the sextapes with Kimmie! I have a Bad Editing fetish.
ReplyDeleteUp their's and the alpacas' they rode out on!
ReplyDeleteOnly on this blog would that make perfect sense (and only on this blog -- and perhaps a few others -- would all the apostrophes be in the right places).
DeleteA response for a lot of common email questions: everything's fine in their worlds. Cal's health is good and improving, but he's just got another project that is killing his "spare" time. And Terry, well Terry is mad as hell about the world, and is off the web temporarily because he needs to, uh, double up on his meds.
ReplyDeleteGood. I was a bit worried.
DeleteWell, I guess I'm still a bit worried about Terry, but getting off the web for a while can do wonders, perhaps even more than the meds (though it doesn't hurt to attack the problem in multiple ways).
So you can ignore the questions I just sent you, RGM. But please forward my thanks to Cal and Terry. And I'm baffled that Hiram would take it on. Baffled and grateful.
DeleteI am grateful to them for working so hard to make a lovely community, and hope it won't be taken the wrong way if I observe that the mod's comings and goings are a bit Steven's Last Night In Town. Which I guess means maybe they'll come back?!
ReplyDeleteI think one, or both of them, are carrying my child. :)
ReplyDeleteWe will not be the same without Terry or Cal! And thank you to both of you for all of your hard work to keep us going.
*is
DeleteI'm broken hearted. I have fallen deeply in love with both of them, and hoped to lure them into some kind of polyamorous co-teaching relationship.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if I'd spoken up sooner they would have stayed.
I secretly wanted to start an ant farm with each of them without the other one knowing. I dreamed of the day Cal and I would get together and watch the ants climbing and working, and he would swoon. He would know that I loved watching ants with only him. I would watch him sing to the ants. Terry wouldn't know. And then the next night I would do essentially the same thing with Terry. It would be so special. Terry would tell stories about E.O. Wilson while we watched the ants. Those were to be my secret Formicidae Affairs to Remember.
Delete