Wednesday, September 24, 2014

A Stream From Katherine.

In the grand tradition of Myra and Yaro, a stream:

  • I have a student who wants to bump fists with me (pound me) after every class.
  • I have never parked in a faculty parking lot.
  • My textbooks have not arrived yet. It is week 4.
  • A student wants to take next week off because her sister is getting married. I told her she could. "Really," she said. "You can do whatever you want," I said. "Is it okay if we carry on without you?"
  • I have $75 credit on Zappos, and I'm just waiting for a nice, slow afternoon to spend it.
  • There is something caught between my two front teeth. It's a rice grain, I think. Soft rice. Now it's hard. That's weird, isn't it?
  • My colleagues have a softball team. They never ask me to play. I played fast pitch in the Midwest in high school. I'm the shit.
  • The president of our college publishes his travel schedule. He's hardly ever here. I think I'm the only one who reads it and wonders: "What is he going to Muncie for?"
  • When I grow up I want to be like my dad, happy.
  • I schedule office hours around my schedule, not those of the students.
  • I think Words With Friends is stupid only because I discovered my brother cheats when he plays me.
  • I love Ricola throat lozenges and gobble them even though my throat is fine.
  • My students are dumber this year than last, and the year before. I could plot it on a graph if I could figure out how to use Microsoft Draw.
  • My colleague across the hallway calls me Kathy. I don't like it.
  • I am teaching because I fell in love with a teacher.
  • I married someone practical.
  • I make $46,500.
  • I know I could run this department better than the chair. I don't believe I'll ever find out. I'm okay with that.

6 comments:

  1. Why is he going to Muncie?

    Yo, I'll just leave this here.
    http://youtu.be/8FUr4jNS1_k

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I married someone practical."

    Mom used to tell me it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as with a poor one. She should talk; she married the guy who taught in the local one-room schoolhouse.

    I didn't marry a rich girl, but I did marry a frugal one. Does that count?

    ReplyDelete
  3. My student's don't get dumber they get lazier. I directly correlate my behavior with being less helpful.

    ReplyDelete
  4. To quote Yaro, I married the wheel to my barrow.

    My own anemic stream:
    I would give quite a bit to spend time with Yaro.
    I would love to buy a drink for so many posters / commenters here.
    2 of my least pleasant ever students (who graduated a number of years ago) turned up today, asking me sign a card for the third member of their unpleasant triumvirate, who will apparently marry soon. Hiram-like, I am baffled.
    Philip Larkin.
    Cafepress should sell h_p tinfoil hats.
    Bubba’s quote at the end of AWC’s final post was just absolutely perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A little thrill went through me when I say "Katherine." I said "Katie" in my head and I giggled for a minute.

    So, it's not her, but it's great. I miss the "streams." Where are Myra's? I did a pretty good search and can't find them. Didn't she and Yaro flirt shamelessly?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I so badly want to write a stream!!

    ReplyDelete