I unfortunately wasn't able to make the lecture on Monday and was wondering if it was possible that you could forward me the power point slides from the lesson?
Also, I was hoping to go away next week to celebrate my birthday but also want to stay on top of all my classes the best I can, if you had the power points prepared for next week it would be very much appreciated if you could send me those as well. "
Answer I wish I could send:
I have an even better idea. Why don't I come to your house at a time that is perfectly convenient for you, and deliver the entire lecture to you again while you get on with vastly more important activities? I'll be happy to repeat anything you miss while you watch Netflix and text your friends. Or - wait - even better, why don't I just write the quizzes for you, and you won't have to come to class at all? In fact, let's save even more time: I'll just give you an A+ and we can both get on with our lives.
Also, "Hello Merely"? That's "Professor Academic" to you, toots. If I can't pick you out of a lineup, you can't use my first name.There are 230 students in that class, and not one of you is a personal friend of mine.