Sunday, October 5, 2014
Why Proffies Should Never Leave the House. Fullerton Frank Goes to the Fair.
On Saturday, my wife and I took a couple of hours to visit our city's arts & crafts fair, a sprawling series of buildings and open areas filled with all manner of cool items. Oh, and beer tents.
As we crossed the threshold of one area, we passed through one of the tents and had to sorta weave around a large group of younger people at the first tables. Just as we were about to extricate ourselves from the crowd, one girl stood up sharply, began to stagger back toward us, and slammed into us.
It was Jilly. She was hammered.
At first she didn't seem to recognize me (or the planet earth). Then a stream of burbling words came out of her: "OH MY GOD PROFESSOR FRANK YOU COME TO THE FAIR TOO JERSEY IS OVER THERE SHE'S WITH HER EXBOYFRIEND THEY DROVE ME WE DON'T HAVE CLASS TODAY DO WE OH MY GOD PROFESSOR FRANK DID YOU COME TO THE FAIR TODAY TOO YOU SHOULD TOTALLY HANG OUT WITH US LATER WE'RE GOING TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND'S BAND PLAY AND IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN IF YOU CAME TOO LET ME GET JERSEY BECAUSE SHE WON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU..."
My wife gently lead me away and I tried to sneak a work of goodbye in.
As we got away from Jilly I saw Jersey for the first time. She was sitting in a young man's lap, facing him, buckling the cheap, plastic chair, but going after his wisdom teeth with the tip of her tongue.
We had our fun at the fair and only saw the girls again when we were walking through the parking lot. Jersey was on her hands and knees behind a small pickup, and Jilly was sitting on the tailgate. When we passed by, Jilly saw me and smiled: "HEY PROFESSOR FRANK DO YOU COME TO THE FAIR OH MY GOD LOOK JERSEY IT'S PROFESSOR FRANK AND HIS WIFE IS WITH HIM PROFESSOR FRANK WERE YOU HERE ALL DAY OH MY GOD WE'LL SEE YOU IN CLASS TOMORROW!!!!"