Thursday, December 18, 2014

For Those Of You Poor Bastards Who Teach Them AND Raise Them. 5 Ways to Deal With the College Kids Coming Home. From HuffPo.

4. The kids are used to staying out late and being accountable to no one. Here, I feel that when they are home they should follow your rules. They may want to argue with you on this one, but hold your ground. Home is home and YOU set the rules. Got me on this one? Safety is your number one priority.

The Rest.

8 comments:

  1. Yeah, 'cause nothing says "home" like a 23:00 curfew and a bunk bed.

    By this point, we shouldn't be talking arbitrary "rules" but best practices for respecting the rights and needs of others in the house.

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    1. On the Intertubes all media writers think your IQ is no bigger than your shoe size.

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    2. Drove me crazy when I came home. My dad wanted me in at 10PM!!! We butted heads over this a lot.

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    3. Frenna, it was 1 1pm for me, but yeah, lots of tension there. oye.

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  2. My Mom complained that whenever any of her boys came home from college, we would dump salt on whatever she'd made for dinner before even tasting it. I was no exception.

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    1. In my grad dorm dining hall there were little bottles of tabasco sauce on each table, which were put to regular use by many of the residents. But I think that was a case of trying to make bland American institutional food taste more like mom's (usually south-Asian) food, rather than vice versa

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  3. I think it helped that I was the youngest child. The rules that applied to me while home on break from college were more like restatements of things that would apply to anybody under 21, with some recognition of what I could (or already did) get away with while at college.

    * The car is a shared resource, and paterfamilias needs it to get to work. So the car will be in the driveway at 8 AM. Plan accordingly.

    * While you still have a junior license, no driving during the curfew imposed by the state. So, either have the car home by curfew, or stay where you are till it ends, but see above regarding 8 AM. Or just don't take the car: walk, take the train, get someone else to drive, etc. Plan accordingly.

    * Obviously no driving while impaired.

    * Don't disrupt the peace if you're coming in at hours when a reasonable person could expect others would be asleep.

    * The contents of the liquor cabinet are not yours, and as you cannot yet legally purchase any, you may not maintain a private stash either. So if you want some, you'll have to ask; maybe I'll share a snort.

    * Likewise the contents of the beer fridge, with a twist: you may have one every now and then on your recognizance, but if I'm home, ask if I'd like one, too. And naturally I'll notice if it begins to disappear more quickly than is reasonable.

    * However, if you have guests, then you'll have no alcohol, nor will you serve any to your guests or permit them to serve themselves, regardless of their age.

    When I came of age, the age-related restrictions went away. I had a car that could be shared among the family, and I also contributed to the larder and liquid stocks. One part that stuck with me was that etiquette allows you to help yourself to some things in the house, some things you should always ask for, and some things you should offer to others even if they already have their own. Also, your actions can have consequences for other people, and you should strive to minimize them.

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  4. My mother thanked me for visiting. Then, thanked me for leaving.

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