Students and faculty of Sacramento State eagerly await the blooming of a Corpse Flower which sits prominently on display in one of the campus buildings. This flower has a unique aspect which sets it apart from the rest of the plant kingdom: it smells like dead flesh when it blooms.
PS: I'm about 75% sure that this flowering plant I found on The Google is NOT actually the right genus or phylum or what the fuck. And when you horticulturaly minded proffies in whatever the fuck field covers this, botany, zooflowerology, whatever, discover what an uneducated boob I am because I don't actually know what the well known corpse flower looks like? Well then when you discover I'm wrong, take a moment, be pleased with yourself, more pleased since your mummy told you that it was okay to finish dead last in the egg race, and then stick this flower up your ass.
Sacramento State, huh? Jeez, and I thought how the undergraduates get their jollies here at Fresno State was unwholesome.
ReplyDeleteHey, don't stick your face too near it, or ELSE...OH NO!! FACE HUGGER!!!
Or is this the species that sprayed Mr. Spock and for the first time in his life, made him happy? (R.I.P. Leonard Nimoy, he will be missed!)
As Calvin said to Hobbes, "That's the problem with nature, something's always stinging you or oozing mucous all over you. Let's go and watch TV."
Just then, the flower said, "FEED ME..."
ReplyDeleteIt's real, there's one at the National Arboretum in DC.
ReplyDeleteAnd one at Lehman College in the Bronx. And they do smell like a chemistry major during finals week.
ReplyDeletea chem major getting an A or one getting a D-?
DeleteHey, I admire chemists. In what other field does anyone get paid to make a mess, and then paid again to clean it up?
DeleteCongress????
DeleteI think they are missing on the whole "clean it up again" part
DeleteThe Simpsons cover this pretty well. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moe_Baby_Blues
ReplyDeleteIn other parts of the world, they eagerly await the drying of the paint.
ReplyDelete