Thursday, March 19, 2015

WHAT THE DUCK IS HAPPENING?

A guy can't take a day off the blog to grade 40 bad essays??? My thoughts are these:
  • "Do you feel how heart my fast is beating?" The only line that compares is Yaro's "wheel to my barrow." Terry P. wrote a majestic piece that I've read ten times now. It's a masterwork, full of amazing inside jokes that paid off for me in a huge way. And I got to be Terry's dead duck! I mean it, I feel as though I'm finally a fully realized human being after that. The stuff with the wife (Kimmie OR Katie), the daughter, the birthday, all the shoutouts. At the end I wanted it to all be true, one poor mad genius with 10 years of psychopathy. The line about writing female characters better, like Fab...I spit out my cereal. But poetry, really. Stunning stunning stunning. It just made me proud to be a small part of this nutty group.
  • Beaker Ben needs more love, too. His blog kept this community together. He always needs to be thanked for that.
  • Yellow? What the fuck? Listen, Fab, we do it gray here. We're miserable, didn't you hear? And the fonts, oh God, the fonts. Can someone get back to me on that.
  • Have all the compounds really been in "O" towns?
  • Wait, no big thirsty? What the hell, man. Fab, you're RUINING THE BLOG. Bring back one of the alters who abides by the covenants.
  • Finally, thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone, readers, correspondents, and mods. This place, well, it saved me.

15 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 19, 2015 at 10:45 AM

    Agreed, Hiram!

    ReplyDelete
  2. FrennaMarch 19, 2015 at 11:05 AM

    Awesome. Just awesome. I must admit I was a bit panicked yesterday when I read the "confession." All I could think is, "Now what?" Where will I go? I need this place.

    ReplyDelete
  3. CindyMarch 19, 2015 at 11:57 AM

    I knew it was a bad sign on Tuesday when the countdown clock went from 15 days down to 6 days in a matter of minutes. I thought, "This really must be spring break; time is moving so quickly this week." Then it went from 6 days to the "The Mediocre Reveal" overnight. My head is still spinning from the quick time change.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMarch 19, 2015 at 12:16 PM

    Hiram, thanks for your appreciation. Don't worry, I have a dog so I get a hero's welcome whenever I walk into the room where she's napping. dogs are great like that. As for keeping the gang together, I'm overjoyed that I didn't have to do that again.

    Now, let's not give this new guy, Fab, too hard of a time. Each Mod at College Misery does his or her own thing. I like the mod to bring a bit of personality to the page. Fab will get the hang of how CM works soon enough. I'm sure that he will work out just fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousMarch 19, 2015 at 12:22 PM

      Wait, what? I just came by to give Terry back about 10% of the cleaning deposit and to pick up the recyclables.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousMarch 19, 2015 at 10:13 PM

      I think the only thing we recycle around here is mods.

      Delete
  5. phdatcMarch 19, 2015 at 12:46 PM

    I just a lurker here... and I am so confused!!!

    Are you all real, not-real, imaginary?
    Someone needs to create an orientation to this place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousMarch 19, 2015 at 12:49 PM

      The incomplete history in the sidebar does a nice job. A lot of it is true.

      Delete
    2. Contingent CassandraMarch 19, 2015 at 3:42 PM

      After the last 24 hours, I'm not so sure myself. I may be a figment of Terry's (or whoever wrote the confession's) imagination (in which case I'm impressed not only by our progenitor's prolific creation of internet artifacts, but also by the number of dissertations he's written in various disciplines. I found writing just one miserable enough). Or maybe I'm one of the late, lamented alpacas (alpaci?). Whatever/whoever I am, I know I love Hiram, and Terry, and Fab, and Leslie, and Cal, and Ben, and all of you.

      And on that gushy note, I will go back to grading my own students' work.

      Delete
    3. Froderick Frankenstien from FresnoMarch 20, 2015 at 5:05 AM

      Much of it is true, but the names do get changed to protect the guilty, since chances are good they'd retaliate against us in many nasty ways if we didn't. For example, I am a quite genuine mad scientist and nutty professor: just ask anyone. In reality, my field is observational astronomy, not re-animating dead bodies like my name implies., although what I do as a side project or unfunded research is my own business. I do have a lab full of electrical equipment that really does go "ZZT! ZZT!": that should count for something.

      Delete
  6. Froderick Frankenstien from FresnoMarch 20, 2015 at 5:01 AM

    It's easy to understand, Hiram. The Sun is a nice, yellow, middle-temperature G star, not too hot and not too cool as stars go, just right for supporting life on Earth. Fab Sun is now moderating the blog, hence yellow.

    Next!

    ReplyDelete
  7. BurntChromeMarch 20, 2015 at 8:34 AM

    I'm in an undisclosed warm location for a conference. I was about to post on the blog when everything went sideways, so I went out and got a slushy rum drink instead.

    Glad to see that things are "normal" (??) again... and thankful for the souls who keep this thing floating.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Academic MonkeyMarch 20, 2015 at 3:07 PM

    The yellow is gone.

    WHAT THE FUCK BRING IT BACK.

    #mixedmessages

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousMarch 20, 2015 at 3:11 PM

      Here's what I know about the Misery. You can not get it the way you want it!

      And I like it!

      #punishme

      Delete
    2. Ogre Proctor HepMarch 21, 2015 at 2:05 PM

      Masochist: Beat me!

      Sadist: No.

      Delete

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