My first wife said something similar, only it was more like "to appreciate your good qualities requires that I view you from the distance of a restraining order."
Just kidding, it was my second wife. Just kidding, it was me saying that to her.
Dear Search Committee, I am interested in applying for your tenure-track position in Hamsterology. I would really like to live in Olimont, Montana. I love the wide vistas of the American West and the small town atmosphere...
I'm to blame as much as anyone, but seriously, what is going to be tomorrow's post? Obits from Toole County? Prices on fertilizer from a local seed store?
I'll have something to post later today. It's taken me a while to get the free time to finish it. It probably won't be worth the wait but at least it will be something.
I tried looking up Oilmont on Zillow, but couldn't even find any zesstimates, let alone places for rent or sale. It looks like the closest options are in Shelby, about 17 miles away.
I can't imagine we'll be in Oilmont for long. Cash is having a hard time finding any decent weed, and there's absolutely no hashish between here and Butte.
But the oxy. Oh, there's plenty of that. To each his own, I suppose.
The sad thing is that, at least at this time of year, just about any single-family property with surrounding land looks pretty good to an apartment-bound gardener like me (I do have a community garden plot a 20-minute drive away, but it's not the same).
Removing all the moribund vehicles would take a while, however, and I'm not so sure about growing vegetables in ground that has probably hosted vehicles that date back to the day of leaded gasoline (heck, I date back to the day of leaded gasoline). Besides, the growing season in Oilmont is probably pretty short. I don't actually mind snow (though admittedly I haven't dealt with the quantities of snow that undoubtedly fall in Oilmont), but this time of year I want it to be spring. Even the slight difference between New England and the more southern climes in which I grew up used to bother me this time of year.
So maybe we should just wait and see where the Powers that Be decide to move next. Anywhere where it's easy to grow pot outdoors would suit my needs as well (heck, if it's legal to grow pot, I'll grow pot, even if I'm ambivalent about partaking).
You really have to see Toole County from the air to appreciate its stark beauty.
ReplyDeleteRight? And everybody said we were crazy to leave Orange City.
DeleteMy first wife said something similar, only it was more like "to appreciate your good qualities requires that I view you from the distance of a restraining order."
DeleteJust kidding, it was my second wife. Just kidding, it was me saying that to her.
Just kidding...
Deletehttp://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/judy-grimes-just-kidding/n12239
If we academics are anything, it's rugged.
ReplyDeleteThat's because so many of us have pulled out our real hair.
DeleteDear Search Committee,
ReplyDeleteI am interested in applying for your tenure-track position in Hamsterology. I would really like to live in Olimont, Montana. I love the wide vistas of the American West and the small town atmosphere...
I'm to blame as much as anyone, but seriously, what is going to be tomorrow's post? Obits from Toole County? Prices on fertilizer from a local seed store?
ReplyDeleteI'll have something to post later today. It's taken me a while to get the free time to finish it. It probably won't be worth the wait but at least it will be something.
DeletePrice fluctuations for fertilizer are a scandal! I'm glad SOMEONE is talking about it...
ReplyDeleteI tried looking up Oilmont on Zillow, but couldn't even find any zesstimates, let alone places for rent or sale. It looks like the closest options are in Shelby, about 17 miles away.
ReplyDeleteBut there's a good option there for the compound: an RV park for sale.
I can't imagine we'll be in Oilmont for long. Cash is having a hard time finding any decent weed, and there's absolutely no hashish between here and Butte.
DeleteBut the oxy. Oh, there's plenty of that. To each his own, I suppose.
Just saw the subhead! Big Thirsty! Attaboy, Hiram. Can't wait to see it and then mock it. :)
ReplyDeleteI love you Cal! Cal and I had a little thing when Eddy was away.
DeleteNever encourage him!!
DeleteHAHA! Thank you, Cindy...
DeleteFuck you, Fab. I mean, nicely.
Check out my shitty property, just up the street from the crossroads.
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is that, at least at this time of year, just about any single-family property with surrounding land looks pretty good to an apartment-bound gardener like me (I do have a community garden plot a 20-minute drive away, but it's not the same).
DeleteRemoving all the moribund vehicles would take a while, however, and I'm not so sure about growing vegetables in ground that has probably hosted vehicles that date back to the day of leaded gasoline (heck, I date back to the day of leaded gasoline). Besides, the growing season in Oilmont is probably pretty short. I don't actually mind snow (though admittedly I haven't dealt with the quantities of snow that undoubtedly fall in Oilmont), but this time of year I want it to be spring. Even the slight difference between New England and the more southern climes in which I grew up used to bother me this time of year.
So maybe we should just wait and see where the Powers that Be decide to move next. Anywhere where it's easy to grow pot outdoors would suit my needs as well (heck, if it's legal to grow pot, I'll grow pot, even if I'm ambivalent about partaking).
i plant my autos moribund
Deleteabout my garden superfund
would lay waste to this favored haunt
but home I find in Oilmont
^like!^
Delete