Friday, May 1, 2015

RYS Flashback. 9 Years Ago Today.

Monday, May 1, 2006

Someone Appears to Be In the Throes of Doing That Last Minute Grading, and Essays are Piled Up, and Tolerance is at an All Time Low

T: The full page of comments stapled to the back of your assignment when I hand it back is (among other things) an explanation of why you got the grade that you got. Please take a few minutes to read and digest it before raising your hand and saying "Professor Xxxxxxx, why did I get 87 out of 100? My friend said that this was perfect." And, going into the hallway after class and yelling "Professor Xxxxxxx is an asshole," does not make me feel more sympathetic to your needs.

D: Misspelling "activities" as "activates" every single time that you used it in your paper (10+ times) strongly suggests to me that you are either extremely careless or borderline illiterate. Also, a very important part of writing is making sure that what you said can be understood by a reader. If a given sentence looks like you took a bunch of words, threw them in a blender, and poured the result onto your assignment, you should probably go back and fix it. Also, it's best if all or nearly all of the semantic units in your paper are actual English words, as opposed to ones that you made up yourself.

E, N, P, & R: If you sit in the back and giggle through my entire class, it is not my fault if you miss things. The purpose of coming to class is to learn things. If you're not going to pay the slightest bit of attention to what's going on, you might as well not come.

N: For your latest assignment, you were supposed to use at least two books. I emphasized in class that these are to be actual physical books that you can hold in your hands, and that they can be obtained free of charge in the campus library. So why is it that when the class was in the library, you raised your hand, pointed to a New York Times article on your computer screen, and said, "Does this count as a book?" Books are those rectangular objects made out of many sheets of paper stuck together. Are you just an idiot? Or is there something I'm missing?


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    1. Hi Jessika. Thanks for your excellent advice. There's nothing better than getting RELIEF for your problems.

  2. I've had E,N,P&R, or their (sorority) sisters, in my class this semester. Some are actually not-too-bad students, and may have gotten something out the class, but the giggling really annoys me.

    I've also had one or two of Jessika's clients in my classes. The less said about that the better, other than that the sub-dean in charge of dealing with plagiarism and other cheating isn't going to be out of work anytime soon.

  3. Jessika, you do realize that broken English is not the best advertising, don't?

  4. Chances are quite good that N did too know what a book is. It's just that the minds of many modern students have quite unlimited capacity for rationalizing, "the rules don't apply to me! I'll be an exception!" This is because they've so rarely been held responsible for anything, no ifs, ands, or buts, by their helicopter parents. The result of this is the well-known phenomenon of "failure to launch," since the real world hasn't stopped holding people responsible.


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