Friday, March 11, 2016

Die, I.T., Die

Hey there, hepcats, long time no misery! Heywood from Henderson coming atcha with a little misery not from students, but from supposed support systems: Enjoy a little theatre this day along with a nice vodka gimlet.

A "DIE, I.T., DIE" play in one act:

I.T.: Hello, this is X, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, X, my email account keeps asking me for my credentials but won't accept them as valid.
I.T.: That means your password has expired.
Me: No, it was working this morning.
I.T.: Then you changed it and it's not syncing up.
Me: No, it's the same password that I was using this morning.
I.T.: Your password needs to be the same for the email system, the CMS system, and the school system.
Me: They are, it's the same password, it was working this morning.
I.T.: It needs to be the same password for your iPad.
Me: What? I don't use my iPad, I haven't turned it on in forever, what does that have to do with anything?
I.T.: The passwords need to be the same otherwise the iPad won't recognize your password.
Me: I didn't use the iPad, I'm not on the iPad, I didn't turn on my iPad, I'm on my office laptop trying to use the password that I was using remotely from home this morning and which was working.
I.T.: Well, if you're not using the iPad we need to take it back.
I.T.: Because the passwords need to be the same.
Me: The. Passwords. Are. The. Same. (and more along those lines)
I.T.: I'm trying to help you, the passwords need to be the same because if they aren't then the email account on your iPad won't sync up and you'll get that message.
Me:……………….All the passwords are the same. I didn't turn on my iPad this morning.
I.T.: Let's restart your computer. (i.e., "Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again
Me: I restarted it this morning, just FYI.
I.T. See, so when your email and iPad and your school account passwords aren't syncing up, it means there's a problem.
Me:……………………………Yes, that's why I called. Thank you for your help.

Heywood from Henderson


  1. You have shared a very nice info with us! Keep it Up.

    Employment News Paper This Week

  2. "You have shared a very nice info with us! Keep it Up."

    You haven't. Please don't!

    1. Good post! I agree!

      (Now give me full particiption points.)

    2. OPH and EC1 said it better than I can.

      (Points for me, too, please).

  3. Have you defragmented your harddrive? If that doesn't solve the problem, it's because your passwords are not the same.

  4. Have you reinstalled AOL from the floppy?

  5. You need my deluxe mouse pad upgrade. Please send me your Visa/Mastercard number.

  6. Maybe there's something wrong with your computer.

  7. During the first few years of grad school I used to moonlight as a network support guy for a tiny little company that ran on Macintosh connected over localtalk (and if you don't know what that is you should (a) imagine it as a slow and flaky intranet and (b) consider yourself lucky).

    Occasionally I had to call Apple.

    This post reminds me of that. Their first tier support people were working from a script that assumed the caller was a imbecile with two left thumbs. They would regularly take my initial report and then proceed to ask me if I had tried all the things that just reported trying.

    Eventually I worked out a script of my own that would get me bumped to a second tier guy in only ten or fifteen minutes. At that level they wee very helpful.

    1. Developing my own scripts is something I do a lot. Back when I was interviewing for jobs for when I graduate, if I realized mid-process that I didn't want the job I was too... deferential to just say that. So I came up with a surefire way to get myself removed from candidacy without doing/saying anything untoward.

      "Do you prefer 'John' or 'Johnathan'?"

      Me: "Well, my friends call me 'Slick'"

      100% effectiveness.