Sunday, March 13, 2016

Oh, look! We moved!

You cannot believe
how much time I spent
editing the map.
Maybe you can.
I'm guessing that the Ocala Orlando weather report in the sidebar is evidence that our compound moved. Time to wash all that Oilmont mud off the van and put on the flip flops. We're in Florida!

A tropical paradise to sooth our weary souls? Sure, but our neighborhood has something that add to our misery as well. Ocala Orlando is home to the University of Central Florida (UCF: U Can't Fail or U Can't Finish, depending on the student's aptitude). It's the largest university in the United States. With only warm weather, lots of other students, world renowned amusement parks, beaches, and natural wildlife nearby, the administration had to come up with something to keep the little darlings entertained.

Behold, NorthView dorms:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eka0ecRYouw

In case you can't believe what you just saw, here's an article about the extravagant dorms at UCF and elsewhere.

http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2013-06-14/news/os-new-ucf-dorm-beth-kassab-20130614_1_student-housing-new-ucf-knights-plaza

It goes without saying that I didn't live in dorms that nice when I was a student. I don't live in a house NOW with those amenities. (I'm even writing this email in secret so that the lovely Ms. Beaker Ben doesn't find out that college students have granite counter tops but she does not.)

Beaker Ben




16 comments:

  1. We couldn't afford hotels in Orlando. The College of Central Florida is in Ocala. http://www.cf.edu

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  2. College of Central Florida, formerly known as Central Florida Community College, is a public state college in Ocala, Florida. The College of Central Florida is a member institution of the Florida College System.

    The college is accredited by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools Commission on Colleges to award baccalaureate, Associate in Arts, Associate in Science degrees as well as Certificate program offerings.[4] The college started offering bachelor degree programs in Business and Organizational Management in 2010, followed by Early Childhood Education in 2011, and Nursing in 2014. Wikipedia.

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    Replies
    1. OK, but why do you call it UCF, more than once?

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    2. Hi Frod. I didn't write the post. Beaker Ben posted it.

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    3. Well fuck it all. I misread the description of Ocala. I didn't realize that CF was a thing, as the kids say, and I thought that it was the same as UCF. Nevermind.

      Crystal, don't we have editors who take care of these details before stuff gets posted?

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    4. No. Every mod ever took shit for being overbearing. I've gone my own way.

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  3. Is it easier if we move to Orlando? What will annoy the most readers?

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  4. I love waking up and piecing together these things after the fact. I think I have all of this. I just can't figure out yet why Frod got out his 1983 Princeton Review of Universities to fact check Ben's posting.

    And I love that the Crystal overreacted and made us ALL move down the road! Did anyone thing to get my timbales out of the closet?

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    Replies
    1. Plus I thought Ben was the moderator and that he was Frod as well. And that I was the egg man.

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    2. No, I'm Yaro, remember?

      Also: The 1983 Princeton Review of Universities had nothing to do with it. My girlfriend is a UCF graduate, and we went to high school in DeLand together. It's a nice place, which otherwise largely no longer exists: rural central Florida.

      Delete
  5. Prof SnugglebunnyMarch 13, 2016 at 1:29 PM

    Ocala, Orlando, whatevs. At least we are moving to a place with a mall.

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  6. Ah, I'm so glad we've moved to Orlando, the home of that more sophisticated decadence that is Florida today.

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  7. Fuck me. I'm such an idiot.

    Sorry for making us move again. By shear luck, it's still a city beginning with O so we haven't broken that tradition.

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  8. Hey Guys, and welcome to the state! Yep, you've found my home state, that crazy, wacky fuck-up Florida. Warnings: The bugs. Seriously. You will have giant palmetto bugs (like cockroaches on steroids), spiders the size of teacups, and no-see-um's that can fly right through the screen in your office. Don't panic. A textbook can solve many problems when applied at speed. Also: Back up your computer and buy a fancy surge protector: Florida is the lighting capital of the world, and the power will go out right when you are in the middle of something that MUST be submitted by 5 PM. Hurricanes are a thing. Don't try to evacuate, just stock up on emergency supplies, and ride the darn thing out. Wear sunscreen everyday, even if you are only walking from the car to the office. Skin cancer rates in Florida are very high. Read Tim Dorsey novels: I know of no other writer who more accurately captures the feeling of the state. And brace yourself: Performance Based Funding is a thing here.

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