Sunday, June 19, 2016

Guilty. By Reg W.

I want to apologize to Crystal and Fab. I've had a bad time of it recently, and my depression has leaked into every part of my life. I sent a number of angry emails to Crystal last month, and continued with a terrible one last night to Fab.

I expected to see it in Real Goddamned Mail, but Fab was kind enough - or dismissive enough, I hope - not to let it bug him.

I have complained through email a number of times about the site, not the fonts and stuff. That's stupid. But I have said that I don't think they do enough to promote the page, and mostly I complained about the lack of content.

Here's something I'm ashamed to have written:
"Every time you change moderators, there's a moment where it seems the page will fold for good; you or whoever makes a claim that you're going to stick around, a BUNCH of comments go up about how this place means so much, and then immediately for a week there's no new content. Just the endless flashbacks. Either make the page rich with content or stop it."
And after a nice Father's Day with my two boys, I just, I don't know, realized how stupid all my little problems are. I have real problems, a divorce, depression, a career crisis, and why I instead spend time pissing and moaning about free blogs or the way Twitter works, I just don't know.

I rarely comment and even more rarely send a post, so content is my problem, too.

I wanted to make amends to the mods of the page because I know I've been an asshole and I know I've shit on this enterprise when I myself have not been willing to row the boat myself.

Reg W.


  1. You are kind to write that, Reg, and I got your followup email as well. I am very sympathetic to what you're going through, and it's understandable that some collateral damage occurs when someone is trying to keep one's head above water.

    I take to heart - too much so many people say - the comments that come in, and I have heard your complaints many many times as well. I wonder the same thing: how do we make the page livelier, involve more people.

    Honestly, I think we've over achieved and perhaps the climate of the online blog world has changed so much. (Ben has written about this before.)

    But, the point is, I forgive you. As you requested I sent along your notes to Crystal as well. I can tell you that nothing you did had anything to do with her turning the page back over.

    Better days, my friend.


  2. I always say, don't judge someone, because you do not know what they are going through. It is however, easier said than done. I sometimes tell my students, "You have a lot going on this semester. It might be better if you took that withdrawal and tried this class again at another time, when you can give it your full time and attention."

  3. Amen. One of the problem, I guess, is a basic catch-22: if you have real problems, you're too busy dealing with them to write witty screeds on unknown blogs. If you don't have any real problems, you have nothing to blog about.

    1. I've stated something similar a few times. I'm trying to turn my recent travails into a post, but of course, I have to get through the next few days with my wits intact.

  4. There's something courageous about repenting or apologizing, Reg.

    1. Indeed. It takes guts, and energy -- maybe a sign that you're beginning to claw your way out of the abyss (not without some backsliding, I'm sure; most trendlines are pretty jagged when you zoom in).

      Very glad you had a good Father's Day. That's important, for you and your kids.

  5. Reg, I hope your Father's Day was restorative in as many ways as possible.

    I am sorry for your difficulties. Is there anything we could help with? Maybe you could dump your guts into a post and we could respond in the manner with therapeutic snark, sympathy, empathy, etc.

    It's not always possible to partition work, family, and personal life. It seems to me that when some areas of life get intractable, we seek progress in the tractable. Perhaps sending real godddamned email was your version of cleaning the desk, office, apartment etc.

    As for me, the mess of my desk, office, and living spaces has transcended tractability.

  6. As Bubba said above, way to step up, Reg. You rarely see that online. I'm glad that you enjoyed your Father's Day. That always helps to get your mind right.

  7. Reg ... Fab has my contact info if you'd like to get in touch. Sometimes, having an outside perspective on things can be helpful.

    Be well.