Monday, July 18, 2016

But of course....

I know it took the entire summer session plus 24 hours for you to write every single lab report, but it only took me 98 minutes to grade all 14 of them. The only reason you don't see your final grade on Blackboard yet is because I'm fucking with you.

PS: tell your lab partner that thing about me on RMP where it says I don't actually look at anything, that's a lie.  Stapling a cover page to unblemished pages from the manual was a waste 14 staples. I read every single literally blank page and determined his final grade without a calculator, because unlike you, I can multiply by zero in my head.

- Unknown Sender


  1. Now I'm almost tempted to put something similar on my RMP just to see what happens. Although it might count as entrapment.

    1. Now there's a RMP possibility I hadn't considered. Tempting, but I think I'll stick to giving good advice.

  2. This sounds familiar. It's not quite the end of the summer term, but we're getting close (drafts of major papers due, prior to conferences on same), and I seem to have a higher-than-usual number of students reappearing for the first time since the first week of class.

    Some come with reasonable excuses (seriously ill close relative, about whom I'd been warned) and apologies, which doesn't necessarily mean they'll be able to catch up, but, at least for me, falls in the realm of understandable if not entirely responsible behavior (they're young; they haven't been through crises before, and sometimes it's the person who has walked them through earlier, more minor tough stuff who is suddenly unavailable due to said crisis). While I suggest to such students that they might want to consider whether the next two weeks are really going to be any better then the last 3, and, if not, try to find someone who can approve a past-the-deadline withdrawal, I'm also willing to work with them if they can, in fact, come up with the work in the time available (though realistically, in most cases, they can't, for a variety of reasons).

    However, I'm not at all sure what to make of the student who recently contacted me to schedule a paper conference, on a paper the draft of which is preceded by a number of smaller scaffolding assignments, despite the fact that I had seen no prior work whatsoever from hir. I managed not to respond "WTF?!?," but part of my reply (which referenced things like the weighting of various components of the final grade and the minimum grade needed to pass) might be described as a polite version thereof.

  3. This is the kind of gold I come to CM for.

  4. Thanks, Unknown Sender. I feel better now.