Tuesday, August 30, 2016

My Students Compiled a Compendium of Things I Said. From Annie.

So my last summer course ever, probably, just wrapped up and one of my students sent me an email that contained a list of all of my "best quotes" including a "top ten" that he and a few of his peers had collected. He asked if it was okay to disseminate to the rest of the class. I approved after reviewing them. I was kind of flattered that they felt writing down what I said was worthwhile. The horror of saying that as their professor is not lost on me. I thought I'd share their top ten as well as some of my favorites:

10: Source?

9: Do you have a source for me? Is the source a surprise? *holds out hand and closes eyes*

8: If you've read any of the things I've written in a casual setting, you'll know how much I love parentheses. You are not to use them in this class. They are... the forbidden punctuation. Just don't even hit those keys on your keyboards. I guess you'll have to avoid numbers that incorporate nine and zero as well.

7: *laughs* You can tell this guy didn't read my Rate My Professor reviews yet. Your assignment for next week is to read my Rate My Professor reviews, buddy. You do still have to write the essay, yes.

6: What would happen if you used an ampersand in an essay instead of spelling out "and"? I honestly have no idea... I've never seen that before. Do you want to be the first archaeologist that goes into the Pharaoh's tomb, Josh?

5: Well, taking a break and talking about your essay due next week was a fun reprieve, but let's get back to work.

4: If you don't need sources to support your arguments, then I guess I don't need any rationale to support what grade I give you and doctors don't need any reason to prescribe medication. And the horses start eating each other and it rains blood.

3: If you liked it then you should have put a source on it.

2: I strongly encourage you to read my Rate My Professor reviews before writing your first essay.

1: Sure, maybe appealing to ethos and pathos would work on some audiences, and you need to know your audience. For instance, the audience reading your papers is me, a calculating, emotionally constipated woman who wasn't loved enough as a child. So employ ethos and pathos at your own risk, is what I'm saying.

Here are ones I liked that I'd forgotten about:

  • "Oo! A source!" *claps hands delightedly* 
  • "I don't think you've earned Sans-Serif, though." 
  • "I believe one of my reviews said that I'm cold, calculating, and don't care about anyone's feelings. That student didn't do too well, which goes to show you that flattery gets you nowhere."

- from unknown "source"


  1. May I take your class? Or at least observe? It sounds awesome. :)

  2. ::finishes scribbling notes::

    I thought I was developing into a personality in the classroom. Now I think I've been playing in the bush leagues.

  3. - from unknown "source" - is now my favourite teacher too.

    May I use one or two of your quotes please? Properly cited of course.

  4. I too would like to join. A recent cohort nicknamed me “the icepick” and a close colleague “the jackknife”, based on our habitual ways of delivering feedback. I’m pretty sure many of my former students would get a kick from this class.

    As PP notes above, we're in the presence of greatness.

  5. Whoops! It was me. Sorry about that.

    And anyone can use any material they like. There were others, but the top ten and those other three were definitely the cream of the crop. Most of it was just about sources. There are a couple from moderating the debates we had.

    1. I assumed Ben because of the top ten list thing! Nice work, Annie!!

    2. Hmm...it sounds to me like you're a pretty effective (and popular, at least with some students) teacher. Brava!

  6. These are all wonderful, and #3 made me laugh out loud.

  7. These are all wonderful, and #3 made me laugh out loud.

  8. "Do you have a source for me? Is the source a surprise? *holds out hand and closes eyes*"

    I'm stealing this.

    Thanks for sharing. I haven't laughed this hard at 7:00 a.m. in a long time.

  9. This is amazing. I used to jot down the bons mots of my undergrad proffies, but yours are so much more on topic!