But...but...but. . .he watched football while he was in assisted living! [If they made me watch football while I was in assisted living, I'd probably take that as a cue to die faster -- or, as I said to my sibling re: their tortoise, who lives in an aquarium in their family room, "well, I'd watch football if you put me in a cage across from the TV, too."]
Note to self: in the extremely unlikely event that I amass a fortune, remember to leave it in restricted gifts only. Or just spend the money on a more interesting diet, and more varied activities, than Mr. Morin. Still, it sounds like he lived life on his terms, which is about all any of us can ask for. I just wish his will had included some more specific provisions about how his gift could be used.
I don't know if this is exactly what I would imagine happening or that I would immediately imagine it would happen and then dismiss the notion as so brazen, so vulgar, so...parodic of higher ed. that no one would actually have the brass bulbs to do it. Much as no one would have the iron cojones to dishonor the memory of this fine person by claiming he had become a football fan--who knew team names!--in his failing years and therefore had an unexpressed wish (which they divined through telepathy and seance) to dedicate one quarter of the fortune he had amassed on his Fritos diet to purchase what effectively is a giant TV.
For a team that went 7-5 last year in the FCS, which used to be called division 1-AA. In a stadium that seats 6500 (but has a project to increase seating to 10-12,000). Hmmm...$10 million fund raising initiative for stadium expansion? Four million dollar windfall from bookish, frugal, presumably monkish librarian? Destiny!
Some of my information was old. I guess the stadium has *already* gone through a recent 25 million dollar expansion and refurbishment. That makes the additional million just so necessary. I think I owe an apology to the UNH board.
I'm thinking of leaving my extensive tool collection to my current employer, on the condition that they use it to fix both the elevator and that fucking air handling system in Donorbux Hall.
I plan on leaving a little money to my undergraduate school -- if there is a little money to be had when I depart -- and it will go to a very specific academic area. That is the mistake this poor man made, not designating where the money could be spent, even if he just mandated that it had to go to anywhere but athletics.
But...but...but. . .he watched football while he was in assisted living! [If they made me watch football while I was in assisted living, I'd probably take that as a cue to die faster -- or, as I said to my sibling re: their tortoise, who lives in an aquarium in their family room, "well, I'd watch football if you put me in a cage across from the TV, too."]
ReplyDeleteNote to self: in the extremely unlikely event that I amass a fortune, remember to leave it in restricted gifts only. Or just spend the money on a more interesting diet, and more varied activities, than Mr. Morin. Still, it sounds like he lived life on his terms, which is about all any of us can ask for. I just wish his will had included some more specific provisions about how his gift could be used.
This is EXACTLY what I would imagine would happen.
ReplyDeleteIt's also EXACTLY why I'm not leaving my $4,000 estate to the fucking college.
I don't know if this is exactly what I would imagine happening or that I would immediately imagine it would happen and then dismiss the notion as so brazen, so vulgar, so...parodic of higher ed. that no one would actually have the brass bulbs to do it. Much as no one would have the iron cojones to dishonor the memory of this fine person by claiming he had become a football fan--who knew team names!--in his failing years and therefore had an unexpressed wish (which they divined through telepathy and seance) to dedicate one quarter of the fortune he had amassed on his Fritos diet to purchase what effectively is a giant TV.
ReplyDeleteFor a team that went 7-5 last year in the FCS, which used to be called division 1-AA. In a stadium that seats 6500 (but has a project to increase seating to 10-12,000). Hmmm...$10 million fund raising initiative for stadium expansion? Four million dollar windfall from bookish, frugal, presumably monkish librarian? Destiny!
Some of my information was old. I guess the stadium has *already* gone through a recent 25 million dollar expansion and refurbishment. That makes the additional million just so necessary. I think I owe an apology to the UNH board.
DeleteWhen you read their acronym as a word it's exactly the sound I made when I found this.
Delete-Annie
Imagined Moment of a Meeting Based on Sitting in on Too Many Here
ReplyDelete“Well, using the money to help defray the cost of the scoreboard is smart. After all, no alums ever go to the Library.”
“Do students?” [General laughter]
“And something like that is a key to recruiting better players; better players mean more television revenue.”
“Yes! We can become the next big time football program—those programs bring in tons of money!”
“And students”
“What?”
“Students.”
“Yes, of course them.”
“Alums LOVE big scoreboards and being on television.”
“Hey, didn’t some coach, somewhere, a few decades ago, give his library a million dollars?”
“Yes, someone somewhere.”
“See! Buying a big score board, we’ll be able to fund the library after all!”
“Once we become a big time program.”
“I’ve heard recently that those programs bring in tons of money!”
“Do students use the library much anyway? With the World Wide Web and web pages and stuff.... Can we switch over to online books and stuff?”
“Using the library building for offices for new admins would save some money.”
“I know, I’ve counted ten or eleven Associate Vice Presidents without corner offices. One has an office without a window!”
“WOW, how can they get anything done?”
That's not imagination, that's raw footage for a documentary.
DeleteI'm thinking of leaving my extensive tool collection to my current employer, on the condition that they use it to fix both the elevator and that fucking air handling system in Donorbux Hall.
ReplyDeleteWe need a new word for "Disappointed But Not Surprised." "Resigned" captures some of the emotion, but not quite enough.
ReplyDeleteI plan on leaving a little money to my undergraduate school -- if there is a little money to be had when I depart -- and it will go to a very specific academic area. That is the mistake this poor man made, not designating where the money could be spent, even if he just mandated that it had to go to anywhere but athletics.
ReplyDelete