This morning, I received an email from a 17-year-old snowflake-to-be (or maybe 18yo). She will be taking my class when the fall semester starts. Her email concludes with, "A quick reply would be appreciated."
Oh, a quick reply. Then I'd better reply quickly so that she will be happy!
Am I the butler? No, I'm Southern Bubba. DOCTOR Southern Bubba.
What should be done with these twerps?
In the reply, you could write "Ok I typed this message really fast gfor you." (with fast typing mistake du jour)
ReplyDeleteWhat should be done? I always suggest (to my wife, who is also an adjunct) that she provide applications to McDonald's instead of copies of her syllabus.
ReplyDeleteThis week, I had a student "considering" taking my Fall class. He wants to know how the course will be graded and what the assignments are, etc.
But... it's a mandatory class.
And... it's a graduate-level class.
His message ended with "I look forward to your response. If there are any questions, don't hesitate to ask."
My question would be: who allowed you in?
The more odious e-mails require silence - drives them bonkers.
ReplyDeleteHer message was CRUCIAL, and aren't they all? Isn't that why the word URGENT shows up so often in the subject line? Isn't that why we get so many return receipt emailed messages? Reply in seven words or fewer.
ReplyDeleteI love this site. I love reading the frustrations of profs who probably aren't all that different than my own.
ReplyDeleteBut this seems a bit much, no Is it really worth getting worked up (and posting), just because somebody put a common phrase at the end of her email?
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ReplyDeleteDon't answer e-mail within 24 hours, or preferably, 48 hours. Never answer e-mail outside of normal working hours (8 a.m. to noon and 1-5 p.m. on Mondays through Fridays). Don't reply more than once per day: those frequent times when no students come to office hours are fine for checking e-mail. I even have statements in my syllabus (10 pages long and growing) specifically listing all of this, just in case some snowflake complains. Check your faculty handbook: my university doesn't even require that faculty answer student e-mail at all, much less on any kind of deadline.
ReplyDeleteWhenever a student is genuinely rude to me, like for example when one calls me by my last name only, I calmly ask the student, "Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's rude to address someone by one's last name only?" Remember that not all students had the gracious upbringing in the Old South that you and I did. It's so sad how so many of them clearly were brought up in front of a TV set by absentee parents "doing their own thing": there's a good chance that your student genuinely does not know that what she's doing is rude. Don't get mad, since you lose control of the situation if you do.
P.S. That's FrankenSTIEN!
"...there's a good chance that your student genuinely does not know that what she's doing is rude. Don't get mad, since you lose control of the situation if you do."
ReplyDeleteThese statements ooze the wisdom of years of experience!
I now consider my classes just as much lessons in civics and proper public behavior as English classes, and both my students and I are happier more productive people for it!
What exactly did she want a reply to?
ReplyDeleteDid she ask a question?
Did she want a syllabus?
If you're this fired up just because she rather politely asked for a quick response (and not what she wanted a response to), I'm thinking you need a nap or something.
Dr. D: In a fit of pique, I copied out applications to work in a nearby factory (we actually had an active one in our city at the time) for each and every student in my ENG 101 class, along with directions on how to get there from the campus.
ReplyDeleteI dunno - there's not nearly enough information to know if the kid's being flaky or legit. I find that phrase sufficiently polite - and it's not like we don't all agree that quick replies to anything are, in fact, generally appreciated. Maybe the rest of the note is demanding or arrogant, but I'd be inclined to think more positively (and that's rare for me!).
ReplyDeleteI think the problem lies with the flakes do not treat school like a job. As an old timer (got my BS at 38, in the local CC to pick up an AA in a more technical specialty), you treat your proffys like your boss. You are respectful in e-mails, in person and otherwise. I've always understood that my instructors have lives (with kids, marriages and research, etc.)outside of class. I also ALWAYS warn, "I have a question of the stupid variety." Because my professors DESERVE that.
ReplyDeleteMeanest Prof:
ReplyDeleteShe was emailing to ask if the information in the syllabus (already posted online) was correct.
I simply thought her last sentence was rude, presumptuous, etc.... I wouldn't even send an email like that to one of my colleagues, unless the matter was truly urgent. Even then, I would qualify it with statements like, "I'm sorry, I know you're really busy now, but...."
Better than the factory:
ReplyDelete"Because you have broken rule 18.246Z of subparagraph 12 of the [blank] College rules I am forced to pass on your information to the campus Army recruiter. Good luck with the Taliban."
See, Bubba, I would be ECSTATIC if a flake was that polite. That's the (low) level of flakitude I've had to deal with.
ReplyDeleteOf course, you could go all passive-aggressive and just send a quick reply of "Yes" if that was her direct question.
I'd be more pissed at the question ("No, the syllabus is a lie! I always hand out inaccurate syllabi! Mwa-ha-ha!") than the request for a quick reply.
Meanest Prof,
ReplyDeleteI completely fucking agree with your last sentence. That was my first reaction. Why the FUCK does a student think I posted a syllabus full of lies??????
Still, the impatience and impoliteness of her last sentence is what really got me. Proffies are really supposed to be on call 24/7/365? Really?
Fuck the snowflakes. Throw them all in an oven and let them melt.