After baking all day for the guy who took Timothy, I sat down to read through my student's papers, for they'll be workshopping tomorrow. I thought I'd get a crappy one or two in each class, something they could learn from, and at least one good one that they could sort of emulate.
I'd expected some issues but really? Two people out of seven have semi-decent introductions and thesis statements. Three or four don't have thesis statements at all. None had actual discussions with the texts they were working from -- part of the actual assignment. (simply citing from them is not having a discussion with the texts...) Instead, they all focused on the last part, the easy part. They all told me how they'd like the class run.
And, lo and behold, they'd like discussion, games, Power Points, etc. And those text books are really crappy (a small part of what one of the authors said). The end.
So, three to four papers out of twenty five students in each class...Chances are nobody in either class actually followed my directions, then. Not even in terms of grammar -- the only grammar I actually got to show them (for which I was chastised after by [useless boss]) was run ons and fragments. Of which most workshop papers still had issues. Lovely. Not to mention the fact that almost all of them have places where they haven't explained something even partially. Some didn't explain anything at all -- no wonder the paper is two and a half pages instead of 4-5.
On top of that, most have issues I cover when I'm teaching intro courses like, hey, probably have to write out numbers when you're in COMPOSITION. Or maybe, just maybe, your paper shouldn't be riddled with cliches.
I'd expect not to have to tell students that who had actually passed the intro course, though. Or, worse, who had actually taken the "get out of intro free" test and passed. If you are in my course, the second composition course, that means you either passed the first one somehow, you tested into it, or you took AP/dual credit in high school. Now I've taught in high schools before, so I know they have laughable standards, but really? Fucking really?
Now, I'm contemplating what I'll say tomorrow.
"None of these papers would pass."
"I can't believe the crap you guys turned in."
"No cookies for you, fuckers. Anybody venture to guess why?"
"You idiots just earned yourself a review day. Thursday I'll be telling you, in great detail, why you can't do this shit in college and why I expected you to know that already."
None of these, of course. Couldn't make the fucking snowflakes unhappy, now could we? Not to mention there's no room in [useless boss]'s syllabus for a review day. Just like there wasn't any time allotted to actually teaching them how to write argument papers. No, Thursday I'm to start the next essay.
"They should know it already" my ass.