Dear VP of IS,
Let me get this straight. Did you really just send out an email to the entire University community with a 17KB Word Document attachment that contained 518 characters of information? Really?
Then let me propose an exercise for you. Please find an empty classroom and write the following sentence on the board: “I am a bandwidth-wasting moron who is highly paid to pretend to know something about technology.” Write it five times, and that will be a bit over 500 characters. Then repeat those five lines seventeen thousand times or until the magnitude of your ineptitude sinks in, whichever comes first.
Note: You may need to find several classrooms and a shitload of whiteboard markers.