Where Hal Goes.
Hal is full time just like me. But he's NEVER here. He strolls in a few minutes late every day, getting to his class 5-10 minutes after it's supposed to start. He's back in his office before the class time is up. He shuffles in there for a few minutes, pokes his head around to ask if I want coffee from the caf, and then leaves his office for almost the entirety of his office hour.
He strolls back eating a bear claw, gives a wave, and is back out the door again before his office hours are over.
He doesn't seem frazzled or bothered. He has a grin almost all of the time. I suspect his stress level is quite a bit lower than mine. I assume he's doing an okay job in class because his students seem to like him - when they do find him in.
When the chair comes around in the afternoon with some random act of servitude, he looks at Hal's door and finds it's closed, and says instead, "Hey, Fritz. I need someone to sit on the Rock Toting Committee." Of course I'm in my office. I keep the number of hours the handbook requests. And I'm here longer than that, too, grading, meeting with students, whatever.
Half-a-Day Hal and I are both tenure track. You'd think he'd be aiming at keeping a job, but everyone seems to like him. "That Hal," people say, admiringly. Are they fucking kidding?