I'm teaching a small cadaveric dissection course where the students are divided up into teams of 4-5 people. It's been rolling along all term with nary a fly in the honey - one of the best classes I've taught. Ever. Seriously, these students are so on task I feel like I'm being pranked by the College Misery gods or something...Until yesterday... One of the teams imploded and I was left with two kindergarteners screaming at each other, and two highly confused teammates watching with mouths agape.
I didn't want to do it. I knew it wasn't my place. I knew I should have just told them to take it outside. But I went Mommy on their asses and forced them to talk it out group-therapy-style til they made up. And the following words left my mouth: "If you don't take a fucking break from school, you are going to burn out by mid-April!" Yeah, yeah, yeah - I said "fucking." To a student. In front of 3 other students. And it was apparently just the tension breaker they needed to stop yelling at each other like 5-year-olds.
You see, these are high caliber, Type A students in a very tough class, and I really believe they just broke from the tension. These 2 students were trying to bring me into the fight looooonnnngggg before I stepped in, saying things like, "Well, Student D said I should be here over Spring Break," and "Student A said I should butt out of her business" - all in pitiable, whiny, baby voices. All that was missing was someone stamping their foot out of frustration.
I know I lost it, but I signed on to teach college kids... not kid kids. And they really chapped my ass and deserved a freaking spanking. And somehow I parlayed all of this into being the "cool teacher?!" What the hell have I done right to deserve this good a term???
You proved you're human and that you give a damn. So cool.
ReplyDeleteBeth: As a former department chair, if I were presented with a case just like you've stated, I'd tell you that I think you're worrying about this more than you need to be. This sounds to me like a case where the tension just got to them: it can happen to anyone. You'd have legitimate cause for worry if blowups like this happened every week. If they've gone back to being college students since the tantrum, great. Enjoy having such a competent class, they certainly are never common enough.
ReplyDeleteSometimes what they need is a shock, and slapping them in the face, in the time-honored tradition for stopping hysterics, really isn't a good idea. So if saying "fucking" worked, I say good for you. I say "shitty" in class, which always surprises them a bit, but I have the excuse that I'm quoting Anne Lamotte (who famously wrote that "shitty first drafts" are the key to good writing). Also, saying "fucking" in front of them counts as treating them as adults -- always a good idea in my book. And you didn't use it as an insult (calling a student a "fucking idiot" to his/her face would *not* be cool), just as an intensifier.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I once taught, in an intro. level course, a Sherman Alexie poem in which the word "fucking" is used in a similar mode -- not as a verb, but as an intensifier/indicator of strong emotion. One of my students complained (fortunately only to me, though I'm sure my chair would have handled it well). I decided it was a good thing that I hadn't decided to teach Allen Ginsberg's "Howl," which was included in our anthology, that semester.
I agree with Mrs. C.
ReplyDeleteDammit, you needed to let them duel, either with barrel-loading pistols or Japanese katanas, in the hallway at midnight.
ReplyDeleteYou should be fired for swearing at students. I am appalled by everything I've read here. What a disgrace.
ReplyDeleteConcern Troll is apparently concerned...
ReplyDeleteSorry, "Parent," but when an otherwise competent college instructor lets an unfortunate word fly in a stressful situation brought on entirely by the students, it's not normally a sackable offense. Both college instructors and students are supposed to be adults, you know.
ReplyDeleteIf the instructor did swear at students often, as part of a pattern of intimidation and harassment, that would merit concern. It would be much like what you are obviously trying, and failing, to do with us here.
Now that you're condoning the swearing in front of students, it shouldn't be long before the last stragglers pull the plug on this futile nightmare. I wish you all a farewell.
ReplyDelete"I'm teaching a small cadaveric dissection course where the students are divided up into ..."
ReplyDeleteHoly crap (don't fire me!), somebody actually started did it! Oh, wait. Nevermind.
Yeah, swearing at students is rarely good but this was one of those times. First, you didn't swear to insult a student, you swore to emphasize a point - a significant point given that that students were yelling at each other. You were trying to difuse an unusual, chaotic situation. You did good.
You could learn ventriloqy? and have the cadaver tell the offending students to shut the fuck up.
ReplyDeletelol @ parent! what a great idea, trolling under a helicopter parent's over-protective attitude! haha. such people are always so shocked when their kids end up being incompetent in the real world.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Monkey. If we've got to have a troll, one named "parent" is a pretty good conceit.
ReplyDeleteNot to get off topic, but are there professors who DON'T curse in front of students? I mean, except at religious institutions. The guy I learned Marx from in undergrad couldn't get through three words without saying "fuck." Same thing for the jittery little guy from the Bronx with whom I studied 17th century British lit. Great classes, though.
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ReplyDeleteYou did those kids a favor, and I say this as someone who *hates* swearing so much as to keep a Swear Jar and charge $1 per violation. (That policy is mostly for one friend acts like Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet). I do not like swearing not because it's sexually offensive, but because it is a poor use of language.
ReplyDeleteSwearing in a heated moment, because you dropped something heavy on your toe or broke a glass, or because you feel an unexpected and sudden intense emotion, is the only acceptable use of profanity, as far as I am concerned (in my admittedly uptight Holly Hobby universe). That you felt that emotion for some good students is very much to your credit. You *are* a cool teacher and you managed to talk some sense into them. And without being all warm and fuzzy about it, you showed that you cared about their academic success, which to those type A kids, is more important than caring about their emotions; it's all the same. So, cool teacher, keep up the good work.
@Parent
ReplyDeleteWe are not k-12 teachers who have to raise someone else's precious snowflakes. You have no business trying to enforce that role here. Go the *fuck* away.
I thought Parent was hilarious. I thought it was like when we own up to all being the same person.
ReplyDeleteI also thought that Beth did a great job and Patty nailed it.