Friday, April 1, 2011

Me. Yaro. Talking.

Hey, it's me, Yaro.

Jesus Murphy, these fucking kids are going to break my stooped back. Why can't they get one fucking thing right?

I mean I've been phoning it in at Dullard University since I got tenure in the 80s...1880s! Can you feel me? But still, I expect the little bastards to work.

But, no, it's Dr. Yaro this and Dr. Yaro that, and none of it finishes with them giving me their fucking projects on time. I'm about ready to pull the ripcord.

The only thing that stops me is the endless line of sorority candy I get to eyeball. Hey, I'm married, not buried! What Mrs. Yaro doesn't know won't hurt her, can I get a "Wha?" "Wha?"

Anyway, I hadn't written in a while, and so there it is.

Another fucking Yaro masterpiece.

Me, Yaro, Peace!

18 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 1, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    yaro is SO going to kill you guys...

    but it cracked me up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 1, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    Excellent from start to finish.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mrs. CApril 1, 2011 at 10:35 AM

    I miss Yaro's voice in any permutation...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Contingent CassandraApril 1, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    I think maybe Yaro had a little nip at lunch (er, brunch?) -- in celebration of spring, you know.

    ReplyDelete
  5. abyssApril 1, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    Is it wrong for me to like the drunk Yaro better than the sober one? Drink up buddy!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sawyer in Student ServicesApril 1, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    Yaro up in here!

    ReplyDelete
  7. miserable adjunctApril 1, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Suckers. The bitter, cynical "I Yaro persona"....just like the College Ectasy logos...are clearly products of the date.

    The real Yaro would never do this to us!

    Here, it was a nice diversion from "I can't figure out how to complete the assignment on Blackboard" emails I'm answering.

    You've got to be kidding me. Eisenhower was president when I was born...I've used party lines in my house and remember a workplace -for many years-- that was free of email.

    If I can fucking figure out how to POST the assignment on Blackboard, why don't you:
    (1) RTFQ
    (2) pretend for a minute that you're exploring a dear "friend's" Facebook page,
    (3) and find the link described in the week's instructions --in excruciating detail--
    and get your work done on time.

    Happy April 1st. And there...I feel better now

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousApril 1, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    Celebrating someone who calls students "eye candy" is not too professional.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Merely AcademicApril 1, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    Go look at Yaro's other posts and consider the date, Fussy Professor (or "sweetcheeks", if I may ...)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Perfesser SlaughterApril 1, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    Oh, Merely, Fussy has you going. Consider that date! No one could be as obtuse, as singularly dense, as utterly comatose, as deserving of having the feeding tube withdrawn as Fussy pretends to be. Fussy's like one of those students who pretend that Jonathan Swift is actually recommending baby-eating. Ha ha! What a hoot!

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousApril 1, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Oh Yaro...I knew there were layers and layers of you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. IyrrisApril 1, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    You men that baby-eating thing was a *joke*?

    What am I supposed to do with all this stuff in my freezer?

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousApril 1, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Yaro has a good sense of humor. He'll love this.

    ReplyDelete
  14. EskarinaApril 1, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    Perfect! Even the avatar is phat.

    ReplyDelete
  15. StrelnikovApril 1, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    If Yaro is the Christ than this is one of those false Popes who partied harty while Constantinople fell....accept no substitutes.

    ReplyDelete
  16. cmtApril 1, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    @Faris -- I have some nice baby-in-a-crock-pot recipes, I'll send them along.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The Contemplative CynicApril 2, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Yaro's been breathing that AIR again, I see. :o)

    ReplyDelete
  18. OvreductdApril 5, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    I'll have what Yaro's having.

    ReplyDelete

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