Sunday, April 10, 2011

Please State the Nature of Your Mathematical Emergency!

This is your EMH calling.  EMH stands for Emergency Mathematical Hologram (ie. adjunct math faculty ala Star Trek Voyager).  I had originally referred to myself as "Crazyprof" but decided that a name change would be appropriate.

I was originally activated when one of the tenured faculty accidently
umm...  "passed on to another dimension".  Since then, I have been stranded in the Delta Quadrant in the middle of nowhere.  Oh, how I wish I had a real name!  The individuals who brought me online did not think I would be around long enough to need a name. 

Oh how different things are for me, compared to the rest of the "crew"!  I share a small workplace with several others.  However, I do not have access to the rest of camus, as I am just a "hologram" and my "emitters" are only located in my office and classroom.
Plese join me in lamenting the working conditions of fellow adjuncts (oops I mean holograms).

My attempt at a disclaimer:  All star-trek related stuff is the property of any and all appropriate owners of star-trek.  Please reference the "Fair-Use Act" on copyrighted material.

9 comments:

  1. Southern Bubba, Ph.D.April 10, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    Should be Data.

    ReplyDelete
  2. StrelnikovApril 10, 2011 at 7:35 PM

    If the silverbacks find out about this Roddenberry thing all you'll hear is "Trek your ass down to our meeting today at warp 5", emails with headers like "I beamed the info over" and "your students have their brains set to stunned." Snarkier assholes would probably do...theShatner....style....of speak-ing with an occasional "Spooock" thrown in to piss you off.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Emergency Mathematical HologramApril 10, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    @ Bubba

    I thought about choosing Data, but atleast the crew was nice to him. The holographic doctor, on the other hand, was treated like crap and it kind of reminded me of being an adjunct.

    @ Strelnikov

    I had to read it out loud in order to get it but I was laughing when I got it.

    P.S. Glad you guys are taking to this well. As you know... my.. job... requires me to... have fun making fun of it... lest I go insane.

    EMH out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Southern Bubba, Ph.D.April 10, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    OK, EMH, but can you explain to me why Australians call it "maths" instead of just "math"? This question has caused me many sleepless nights over the last few decades.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Emergency Mathematical HologramApril 10, 2011 at 9:27 PM

    @ Bubba

    Australia was a penal colony at one time. Anything's possible.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The_MythApril 10, 2011 at 11:11 PM

    Australians and the British derive their nickname from the full name:

    Mathematics.

    Ergo, maths.

    We Americans are just lazy, ignorant fucks who had to drop the 's' to look cool..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kenny KeenerApril 11, 2011 at 3:01 AM

    Please "stop" using "scare quotes." It completely "ruins" the "joke."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Emergency Mathematical HologramApril 11, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    @ Kenny

    Okay, I'll "stop".

    ReplyDelete
  9. GaryApril 11, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    Heh. He said "penal colony." (Insert fratboy chuckle.)

    ReplyDelete

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