I have missed most of the lectures as I was worried about an ill relative. I traveled back home to be with them last week when he passed away. Can I have an extension for the semester project that is due this week?
-Late Larry
Late Larry: It is really unfortunate that your grandparent got sick and you traveled home to be with them before they died a week before the semester project was due. Please follow college procedures for requesting an extension.
-Dr. Jekyll
Late Larry: When your appeal is filed, the appeals board will ask me about it. I will tell them that you only attended one of twelve weekly lectures to date. I will also tell them that you didn’t contact me until the week the assignment was due. NO EXTENSION FOR YOU!
-Prof. Hyde
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Dr. Jekyll and Prof. Hyde,
I'm a special snowflake and I want to leave campus before finals are over so that I can get an internship for the summer. Is there any possibility for me to take the final exam earlier? I know the university has certain regulations, so I'm just wondering if there is any exceptions possible. BTW, can I use the "appeals board" to apply for an early final exam?
Sorry to trouble you. P.S. I really enjoy your lecture.
Cheers.
-Steve Snowflake
Steve:
Please complete the appeals board form and submit it as indicated in the directions.
-Dr. Jekyll
Steve:
No, I cannot grant you an early final as you already know given your reference to "certain regulations". You can try the appeals board, but I doubt it is going to work. Your question about this board shows me that you haven't investigated this fully yet and you expect me to explain how the appeals board works because you're too damn lazy to do it yourself. Nice try. Oh, and thanks for the obsequiousness at the end of your message. I'll be sure to fill out your appeals board form now.
-Prof. Hyde
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Dear Dr. Jekyll and Prof. Hyde:
For some reasons I wasn't able to come to the last lecture. But I will try to catch up using the recorded lectures. Since I missed the lecture, can I get the due date for the first project milestone extended to the next lecture?
-Ambiguous Andy
Andy:
No, not unless you can provide more detail as to why you missed the lecture.
-Dr. Jekyll
Andy:
"For some reasons"? WTF is that? In what universe is that an acceptable explanation? No, you cannot have an extension but I cannot explain exactly why.
-Prof. Hyde
Finally! Somebody is picking up where I left off....all you need now is a basement cell, a packet of Belomors, and all the inhuman cruelty the Party will allow.
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that I love procedures and policies? I do exactly this-- sweetly smile and say my hands are tied, campus policy appeals board blah blah blah. It was when I worked at a place that didn't have clear policies that I almost lost my mind.
ReplyDeleteI am The Man, I guess.
Just keep telling yourself that these policies and procedures are there for the students' protection as much as for your own. If it also helps you out from time to time, so much the better!
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteI am currently in the process of changing my major and my new major does not
require Basket Weaving so is there any possible way to drop this class and be refunded? I
know my chances are probably slim but it would really be helpful if I could use
this money for another class, especially since now I'm a little behind in my
new major. Please let me know if there's anything I can do.
Thank you and have a wonderful day!
@F&T: not at all; I love clear policies (both university policies and those I put on my syllabus, and can refer to later as needed). They save a lot of trouble, and lead to fair, equitable treatment for all.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, one of things that drives me crazy is that, while my university has fairly clear policies for both students and TT faculty, they're still making up the policies for contingent faculty as they go along, and changing policy, practice, or both mid-course whenever they #$%! well feel like it. This is, apparently, one of the ways in which our positions are "flexible," and, though almost certainly legal, it's pretty demoralizing. So, yes, I'd say that clearly-defined policies are good for all involved.
The Dr. Jekyll and Prof. Hyde format is wonderful. Is Prof. Hyde related to Captain Subtext?
ReplyDelete