Q: Somehow, your teaching prowess finally gets appreciated worldwide. A movie is made of your academic life. The Oscar-nominated film focuses on your teaching days, with choice flashbacks to the younger you in grad school. Who plays you?
My movie would be completely done in XtraNormal with flashbacks shown as vidshizzles. Musical numbers - it's a rock opera, after all - would be lipdubs.
I would have to be played by a large team of actors, since Bubba talked me into outside my "AdjunctSlave" persona as a brigade effort of numerous humanities nerds of different ages and appearances.
A younger Rosemary Clooney (or is she dead, too?) or perhaps Tyne Daley (this counts as realistic, but still being played by someone better-looking than I actually am).
Parker Posey. Nobody makes indignant train wreck likable the way Parker Posey does.
But we're the same age-ish - so I guess that wouldn't be suitable for the flashbacks - she'll be in the epilogue though. Maybe the grad school me could be the girl from Ned's Declassified... Lindsay Shaw, apparently. I don't know if she's Oscar material, but let's put her in for a casting call and hope for the best.
I'm played by Emma Stone. I get a cameo as a returning student who goes bonkers and tries to staple myself to death.
ReplyDeleteClooney ravishes me on the Dean's desk.
Zach Galafianakis. I mean, we're supposed to be better looking in movies, right?
ReplyDeleteMy movie would be completely done in XtraNormal with flashbacks shown as vidshizzles. Musical numbers - it's a rock opera, after all - would be lipdubs.
ReplyDeleteOh, and one other thing. It would be awesome.
Sheila Tousey
ReplyDeleteI would have to be played by a large team of actors, since Bubba talked me into outside my "AdjunctSlave" persona as a brigade effort of numerous humanities nerds of different ages and appearances.
ReplyDeleteCrow T. Robot for the younger me; Toshiro Mifune for the older me.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know he's dead.
I'd love Sean Connery but would get Ed Asner...
ReplyDeleteA younger Rosemary Clooney (or is she dead, too?) or perhaps Tyne Daley (this counts as realistic, but still being played by someone better-looking than I actually am).
ReplyDeleteGoing to Grad School: Natalie Portman (we have a similar face)
ReplyDeleteAs an almost-retired prof: Helen Mirren (because then I could die a happy woman)
Wow, AM, you must be purty!
ReplyDeleteMe: Stockard Channing in her role from Grease, in my grad school days, and in her role as the narrator of Meerkat Manor now.
Eric Dane, 'cause he fiiiiiiiiiine.
ReplyDeleteParker Posey. Nobody makes indignant train wreck likable the way Parker Posey does.
ReplyDeleteBut we're the same age-ish - so I guess that wouldn't be suitable for the flashbacks - she'll be in the epilogue though. Maybe the grad school me could be the girl from Ned's Declassified... Lindsay Shaw, apparently. I don't know if she's Oscar material, but let's put her in for a casting call and hope for the best.
Marty Feldman
ReplyDeleteHarpo Marx.
ReplyDeleteMelissa McCarthy.
ReplyDeleteCharlie McCarthy
ReplyDeleteGrace Zabriskie (Lois Hendrickson on "Big Love.")
ReplyDelete