Tuesday, January 31, 2012

If only . . .

I've seen the following letter making the rounds on the Intertubes. I post it for your consideration and potential use.

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Chris L. Jensen


  1. This is a great letter!

    It's been around a while, at least since 1996. It might even be older. The sentiment works for every generation!

  2. I'm sure we posted this at some point, or maybe I saw it RYS. But I cannot find it anywhere.

    It's a doozy, and I'm glad new readers get to see it.

  3. Wherever it came from (and I'm not sure, either, but I'm pretty sure I saw it some time back, maybe even posted on an office door back when that's how you shared things with your friends), it's a classic, and well worth resurrecting in this (still, again) bad market.

  4. I think I remember an old mimeographed version - with that blueish purple ink that reeked of alcohol. In fact, it might even be what that old Sumerian tablet said (I kid).

  5. Perhaps somewhere in the OT, it makes an appearance? :o) I love it! Thanks for re-posting.

  6. I got it via e-mail in the mid-1990s, when nobody thought the market could get any worse. Surprise!


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