Monday, February 20, 2012

Jobs and Relationships

Last year, I mentioned that my partner got an enormous opportunity: a T/T at an Ivy, after years of struggle. We both applied for the job (which was broadly described and interdisciplinary) and he won it, well-deserved and fair/square. I bit back my jealousy and got excited about the move. When they showered him with gifts and computers and expense accounts, I bought champagne and cheered. I strung together jobs at a local State school with a great reputation, a CC with a good value of adjuncts (and decent pay), and some online teaching. I have a shitty schedule and no job security, but I keep my head down and work hard so new opportunities will pay off.

In the past two months, a few jobs in the area have opened up. T/T, good places. I think I have a good chance. I'm a better candidate now and I know people on the hiring committees. But my partner is struggling at his new job. His faculty environment is terrible. I have mentioned here before about the open hostility among faculty at this Ivy. There are tears at faculty meetings and people who slam the door as they leave. They sabotage each other's classes. They use students as weapons. It's disgraceful. And secretly I'm glad I didn't get that job even as I distress at his pain, stress, and increasing alcoholism.

So now, Partner wants to leave his crappy work environment at a snappy Ivy and apply for these nearby jobs too. And it leaves me at a loss.

He has the dream job: well-paying and all. The faculty sucks, but all jobs have some suck. He at least has T/T, benefits, and good pay. Argh, but I hate seeing him so miserable.

My work life really sucks. I'm not allowed in faculty meetings since I'm just an adjunct. I have no benefits. I'm traveling about 8 hours a week to get to my various places of work. But I suppose I have a little bit of freedom from administrative red tape. I feel completely torn about this job situation.

I want him to be supportive of my attempts to solidify my career in this region. His application may not be the one that knocks me out of the running, and this isn't about both of us going for it and one of us getting it, but about him looking at me and hoping I get something more than this constant commute and thankless string of jobs.

Not to mention, if it weren't for my relentless pursuit of job pages, he would never even know of these hiring opportunities.

Now we are struggling between our careers and remembering that we still love each other. It's growing very tense. I thought readers who have been there might have some advice. I'm not really sure how to keep going, especially if he does not apply for this job and then I fail to get it -- after all, I'm sure every job going gets at least 100 applications.

Feeling a little alone right now. All advice, anecdotes, or off-topic jokes much appreciated.


  1. I think it is time for him to step back and let you take your shot, hopefully the relationship is worth more to him than his career and he does this. He has job security, not all jobs are gum drops and rainbows. This is why it is called work not "happy fun time". He needs to keep his head down and not get sucked in, this will make it more bearable.

  2. If you are both pretty miserable would it be advantageous for you both to go back on the market and find a better situation elsewhere? This year you apply for those other jobs. Next year, if things have not improved, you both move on?

  3. "This isn't about both of us going for it and one of us getting it."

    You're absolutely right. The version of reality that you posted is all about you. It appears that you want your partner to be happy but if he's not, well then, at least he should have the decency to remain unhappy so that you can have your turn. Except, you had you both took a turn. Both of you applied for this job and he got it; you didn't.

    Now you find out that the glorious T/T Ivy job sucks but other jobs are available. The solution? Your unhappy partner should stay there and let only you, not himself, apply for jobs because that should be his way of showing you that he loves you?


    By the way, you forgot one possible outcome of both of you applying for several local jobs: each of you finds one. That won't happen unless you both apply.

    1. What if he gets a new job, which precludes my being hired at that institution OR the one he just left? As he dances around, perhaps entering yet another poor faculty situation, he closes doors behind him for me.

    2. There's no denying that you're in a difficult situation but I have a solution.

      Get hitched.

      You'll then be entitled to the health, pet insurance, discount admission to on campus movies and all the other benefits of his job and there might be more job security as an adjunct married to a T/T.

      Before you race to your keyboard to reply, don't bother.

      You're welcome.

  4. I think you need to both apply to better situations outside where you are. But I also think that your partner needs to SUCK IT UP and not apply for the ones that are nearby, the ones you would take to support his career while not sacrificing yourself on the altar of adjuncting.

    Also, sorry, but crappy departmental morale is less stressful than no job security, 8 hours/week per travel, and low prestige. I've tried both and much prefer the former. Has this man never worked in the real world, which is full of hostility and sabotage? Does he have no mental "screen saver" he can just turn on while these antics go on around him? He needs to put on his big-boy pants, go to AA, and deal with the job he has, unless you both land positions that are desirable.

    1. The putting on of big boy pants and dealing with it is about as helpful as telling AM to just stop goofing off and get a frickin' T/T job already.

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  6. Beaker Ben's and my reply came in at the exact same time. There you go: one male and one female perspective on the matter. Telling, I think.

  7. I'm sorry: I can see how you would feel like it's YOUR turn now and that you've already given your partner the other job, but the reality is that you didn't concede the other job to your partner; the committee picked your partner over you. If you had both been offered the job as equal candidates and the decision had been left up to you to make and you conceded that the partner could get the job, I could see how you'd feel, "OK, it's my turn now. But that wasn't the case. And even though you FOUND this job ad, it doesn't mean it's YOUR job. But I totally understand how you feel like you should at least get a go at this.

    My partner and I have been in the same boat for 15 years now: similar degrees, applying for the same jobs (YAY, HUMANITIES). Three times, he has been picked over me and I adjuncted in the department while he was T/T.

    We finally both got T/T jobs at different schools, but it meant living 150 miles apart for five years. That's where I eventually ended up: 150 miles away (though still together) because I wanted my T/T job after years of taking a backseat. This year, my partner and I decided we couldn't handle the long distance so he quit his T/T and is adjuncting at my school. We're happy that at least one of us can provide the family benefits. We don't care who it is: we know that living apart sucked more than having an unhappy work environment.

    Good luck in your job search. I hope you can get over the tension at home to remember what you love about each other rather than feeling entitled to jobs neither of you has.

  8. For what it's worth, I told a friend about a position that I'd seen that I was excited to apply to (when I was an adjunct and she had a T/T job). She applied and got the job, even though she didn't "need" it. I don't talk to her much. So I understand your feelings!

  9. I'm with Frog and Toad on this one, every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

    If he's your partner and he cares about you, he will shut up and keep his head down and help you apply for the jobs *you found*. Then he can quit his job, and you can be the support while he adjuncts for a bit. Or perhaps you can divvy them up--he applies for these jobs over here, and you apply for the ones over there. I think another competition for the same job might kill your relationship, no matter how much you may love each other. Good on you for supporting him. Now it's his turn. That's how relationships work.

  10. Sorry for all this, Monkey. I watched a close friend and partner go through this and eventually break up. I would suggest that you get a neutral third party (aka a shrink) walk you through pros and cons together. If you (plural) want to remain together, you have to accept eating some work shit; if a perfect work life is more important, than it is, and that will kill the relationship.

  11. The beginning of the end for my first marriage: I was working post bachelors in an awesome research job with a large institute within NIH. We married and she started and finished a Masters in a field where you have to have a Masters to practice your field in the clinical setting. During the time she was a grad student she did NOTHING but grad school (no laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.) We moved off to my graduate school ambitions and she had agreed to take the role that I had taken for her: she would run the house and I'd be a full time student. She broke that agreement after one week of working a regular job in her chosen field. After ONE semester of working (and grad school for me), she told me that she was going to quit her job and return to grad school for a PhD and that if I loved her, I'd never make her work in her job area again she hated it so: never mind that I had worked two jobs while she was in grad school!!! Of course, I tried to be supportive and she appreciated the time, but in her doing this, we lost our health insurance AND the stability that comes from being a household with dependable income. I cut my PhD ambitions short at the Masters so we could have insurance and money again. She became convinced that her right to have the PhD and to take any job that she wanted ultimately doomed us. That and when she got the job of her dreams, it was ALL about tenure. Forget spending time together!
    I took a job as an Active Duty Navy Officer to provide the support (not a lot of jobs in my area where I graduated) to support us while she spent 9 years in grad school! I should have told her it was time to SUCK IT UP and work it out in her job field and that she made a deal and she was going to have to live up to her obligations and promises: lots of jobs suck the first year or so and if you never stick it out, you will not make it that far. My current academic position was dicey at first, but I've made it through the rough patches and being where I am now is pretty cool.

  12. Thanks for the sympathy and the advice, all. I do feel like I am battling both practicality and the job market. On the one hand, of course we should both apply. On the other hand, I've been pretty good about pulling my weight and then some, and maybe he could stick it out more than 6 months?

    An important element I neglected to mention: two of his colleagues are retiring at the end of this year, and the worst one of all (who keeps everyone crying) is retiring in two years. I think this is reason enough to tough it out. Three new colleagues may seem a drop in the bucket, but these three leaving will change the fellowship of the faculty.

    But we've had nice talk today and we came to a good agreement: we are both applying to one really good job, and only I will apply to the others. Best of luck to us all, I suppose!

    1. Six months is no time to think about bailing out, especially if other faculty are clearing out. That would be a bad spot on his CV if he's only there for one year.

  13. I have little to no experience with relationships, so I'm hesitant to chime in, but it sounds like you've come to the best solution: one you can both agree on. I don't think there's one right or wrong answer here, just a need to weigh options in a way that shows each of you is genuinely respectful of the other's perspective.

    That said, my observation of the Ivy League (entirely from a student perspective) is that the chances of actually getting tenure at the Ivy League institution where one holds an assistant professorship are slim, but the chances of getting a very good tenured position elsewhere (including another Ivy League dept) are pretty good. That's true whether department politics are good or awful; the key seems to be to keep one's head down, not teach too much (a rule the professors I most appreciated all violated), and take advantage of the opportunity to publish, publish, publish. Whether it's a good idea to move after a year, I'm not sure; it would probably be worth his checking with some mentors (discreet ones well outside his current department) to see what they think. My guess would be that holding on for a while -- especially since it looks like things might be getting better, and he probably has a research leave coming up soon anyway -- might be the wiser course, in terms of maximizing long-term career prospects. But if everybody knows the department is a snake pit, maybe leaving after a year wouldn't look so odd. I suppose one also has to weigh the sour-grapes possibility: how will they react to his leaving, and, if they react badly, will others in the profession believe whatever criticism they lob his way?

    At least your course (which is all you can really control) seems clear: of course you apply for any job you'd be happy to have. Just because he was the better "fit" in the eyes of one particular very dysfunctional department doesn't mean you won't look better to some other, hopefully more functional, one.

  14. Well, I'm female but I agree with Beaker Ben. You're looking at this from the wrong perspective. It's not "either/or" with regard to the jobs you're applying for. Him not throwing his hat in doesn't increase your chances of getting the job. It just decreases his chances of getting it.

    He's entitled to be happy at the place at which he works. What you're asking him to do is to remain miserable so that you can have a perceivedly (but not actually) better chance of a possibility of happiness.

    Now, um...why aren't you married? And why are you limiting your job prospects to advance a personal relationship when that personal relationship has not reached the stage where you are married? A lot depends on which one of you doesn't want to be married. If you do, and he doesn't, you have a serious problem. If he does, and you don't, then again, why are you limiting your prospects to advance in your job for a personal relationship that is by definition not permanent? Why are you not applying anywhere and everywhere?

    I'm not saying marriage is the be-all and end-all of everything. Some people never want to be married and don't believe it it and that's fine. But then it's lunacy to invest in the relationship as if it's a marriage when it's not. Especially if he's the one that's "not".

    What you feel is that he is not as dedicated to your relationship as you are. And about that you may be right. If he puts his job first, you should too, and apply everywhere. Will that mean the end of the relationship? Maybe. But how will you feel if the tension ends your relationship anyway, and your chances for a career are severely compromised?

    What this requires is a really long and difficult conversation with your partner. And I can't predict what will happen. You may end up getting married, making your relationship the top priority, no matter what, and working through whatever you have to to do that. It could be that it becomes obvious that either you or he (or both) are really most concerned with establishing your careers, and you grow apart. Or any number of other things.

    But you really need to talk about it. And honestly, I will tell you, if you do one thing, you need to give yourself the opportunity to put yourself on the market full-throttle, to see what's out there for you. Otherwise, you'll never know what's out there for you. Getting a job doesn't mean you have to take that job. Go. Apply for EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE. Now.

    1. I did point out that I was not under the illusion that his refraining to apply would grant me the job. I'm not delusional. This is about hoping that he would support me in my search and give this job we uprooted for more than 6 months.

      As for marriage, I don't think my generation looks at marriage as an option unless we absolutely have to. We would marry if push came to shove and one of us needed the benefits.

  15. Life is too short to work in a job that sucks. That goes for both of you.

  16. (Sideline comment--not intended to hijack the discussion). Stella writes: "But then it's lunacy to invest in the relationship as if it's a marriage when it's not." I'm glad nobody gave me this advice years ago, when I met my partner. Even though we are legally prohibited from recognizing our relationship as a "marriage" in all but a handful of states, we "invested" in it anyway. Twelve years later, we've seen many legally sanctioned marriages crumble--but we are still together, sans license or certificate.

    Stella's right about one thing--any successful long-term relationship requires a bit of "lunacy" (I'll cop to that)--but I'll put my money on "investing in the relationship" over a government-issued piece of paper any day.

    I haven't followed this site long enough to know whether Academic Monkey is a man or a woman (though the responses here lead me to think the latter), but it strikes me as odd that, in multiple threads here, AM's marital status seems to affect the advice offered. As someone who is actively fighting for marriage equality, I completely understand Stella's point: the intent of marriage is to provide stability. But when I read things like, "You may end up getting married, making your relationship the top priority, no matter what . . .", I can't help but point out that it IS possible to make your relationship "the top priority" WITHOUT getting married. To imply that unmarried heterosexual couples are somehow devaluing their relationship is, well, Santorum-ish.

    1. God, I am sooo glad you said that. I am usually a huge fan of Stella but this stuff really stuck in my craw. My marriage is not a marriage, thanks to Prop 8. But hey, we lunatics invested in the relationship as if it's a marriage when it's not. We even had a kid!

      Sounds like AM and her (I think AM is a her) partner figured out a solution that works for both. Good for them.

    2. Well, of course you both are correct. But I'm not talking about homosexual couples, and my advice isn't meant to reflect that. Academic Monkey is, as far as I know, a woman, and her partner is a man. There is a big difference between couples that don't marry because they CAN'T, and couples that don't marry because they WON'T.

      And F&T, you actually DID get married. It may not be technically recognized by your state or the federal government, but you DID get married.

      My advice to AM was hetero-specific because AM is female and hetero (AFAIK). I did not mean it to stand in for advice to everyone. Although to gay couples who live in states where they can marry my advice would be the same.

    3. It is true. Academics are more conservative than the mainstream media likes to paint us.

      Marriage is a business relationship that is good for the state, not necessariy for the individual. There is a reason that more women now choose to remain single over marriage. The history of marriage clearly shows that it is about a financial arrangement, not love. The "love marriage" is a modern invention. In the Soviet Union, divorce was frowned upon; after Independence, divorce rates soared.Marriage rates plummeted.

      Try removing yourself from an abusive marriage, or a marriage that falls apart. Expensive. Time consuming. Heartbreaking. And sometimes, Impossible. You incur the debts of your partner, and the partner can use this to harm you.

      Marriage is not the cure for a relationship in trouble. In fact, it can make matters worse.

      Mae West had it right." Marriage is an institution, and I am not ready for an institution."

    4. In fact, I would argue that marriage would destroy my relationship. The institution has so much baggage and people treat you a specific way when you get married. More than half of those I knew who were married are now divorced, with all the legal trappings that come with divorce. I don't intend to have kids so unless fate pushes us beyond our having a choice, we will choose remain unmarried and committed to each other.

      If one of us needs benefits, we will take advantage of my state's civil unions law. We will not marry.

      I said it above: I really don't think my generation sees marriage as the good thing that previous generations did. Much has been written recently about how few people are married these days (49% of adult Americans). I personally think marriage is for providing stability for children, and even that is drifting away. Perhaps when I am old I will marry to ensure someone has my back when my brain begins to go, but even that I am not sure of. I do not want to be in a relationship where I stay only because I promised to stay 10 years ago. I want a relationship where I stay because every day I decide I want to stay.

      I think it's fascinating that this conversation has turned where it has, because the question of marriage does seem automatic. And the institution of marriage -- so in flux these days! -- is a really interesting one to consider.

    5. I understand your feelings about marriage. I was perfectly happy to remain unmarried and living with my then-partner/now husband. We had a house together, we had living wills, etc. But he was unwilling to make a lifetime commitment. Until he did that, I was willing to go as far as purchasing a house together. But I wouldn't have done anything that would have adversely affected my ability to provide for myself for anything less than "until death us do part."

      There are many benefits that come with marriage that you can't get anywhere else. State and federal pensions, for example. No marriage means no survivor's benefit from social security. These are long-term benefits that go beyond health insurance. And they are or could be important to you, or to him, in the far future.

      Marriage is definitely serious business. VERY serious business. I'm not so much conservative socially as I am an advocate of people only being as dedicated to a person as that person is to them. For me, putting aside one's career aspirations, or thwarting them, is something only reserved for a pact like a marriage. Because I'm not changing the course of my life for someone that cannot make a lifetime commitment to me. I'm 48, and I've seen women do that time and time again. Marriage is no assurance that a relationship won't tank in the end. But it is an assurance that both people at least start with a lifetime commitment. You may have that with your partner.

      There's a reason why gay people want the right to marry. It's a powerful thing, and makes a powerful statement about your relationship, and it confers all sorts of legal and other benefits.

    6. I'm with Stella on this. It's not a question of the legal implications of marriage, which are (as it happens) greater in your country, where health insurance seems to depend on marital status, than they are up here in the frozen North. It's a question of commitment. I would not curtail my professional choices for anyone that I did not want to spend the rest of my life with, and knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And I would not curtail my professional choices for anyone who did not know that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

      And if a couple is committed in that way, and don't feel like getting married, that's entirely their business. And if they aren't committed in that way that's also entirely their business. But if they are not committed in that way, then they are both insane if they're curtailing their professional possibilities for the sake of a relationship that they really aren't sure is going to last.

      I grant you that lots of people think their relationship is life-long and it turns out they were wrong. But at the time when you're making the choices about your career, if you don't believe your relationship is for life, you need to be taking that into account. Because your career is for life. It's not so much a matter of knowing your priorities as of accepting what they are.

      When it's hard, of course, is when one person is really committed and the other one isn't, and they both know it, and they aren't talking about it. Because at that point the stage you're in may be "courtship", and it may all work out. Or it may not. And at that point, it's spectactularly hard to make career choices.

      I think all Stella is saying, AM, is think it through. Are you both committed to this relationship? Then that's the most important thing. Are you committed to the relationship and he's committed to whatever's best for him? Then you need to have a clear grasp of that fact, and ALSO be doing what's best for you because in a crunch, he's not going to back you up if you're in his way. And it sounds as if you feel that that may be so. I'm glad to hear that you're talking it through.

  17. I, too, am in the middle of changing careers, dual-career tracks, and shitty jobs. I'm attempting to complete my PhD, my spouse just completed and found a shitty pseudo-post-doc-cum-adjunct-slave. But the background first.

    I'm on a second career. I left the previous one due to mutual dissatisfaction, it didn't really like me, I didn't really like it. However, it was a good career with solid pay, but I was happy for the opportunity to jump ship and be a student.

    Except it meant living in another state. So we lived apart for two years while I did some school and SO dissertated and job hunted. Living together sucked immensely, and wasn't very good for either of us, mentally, relationally, or work-productivitally. Nothing came up except this post-doc at a cardinal-direction-state-uni, but it was a j-o-b, and it came with pay !and! !benefits!. I had completed coursework, and my research was mdoerately portable, so I moved too, figuring I'd rather visit my advisor occasionally and live with my spouse than the other way around. But SO hates this job immensely. Hates the students, hates the departmental bureaucracy, hates the culture, hates the workload, hates the soul-crushing task that is job-hunting, hates the complete lack of support, guidance, or even clear direction the department offers. Hates so viscerally it scares me sometimes. SO will not be returning next fall, another job or not, and the school doesn't know it yet.

    So I'm moving back to my school this summer. Hopefully, I can beg and grovel my way back into the TA line I gave up. SO is job hunting, but still has no bites. I don't know what will happen if an actual job is found, probably living apart again. SO _really_ doesn't like the idea of not being employed.

    So what is the answer to the OP? I don't know. I know there aren't enough zeros in this state to make a salary that SO would stay at this job for. I know our finances are scary. I know I do shitty research while trying to maintain a long distance marriage. I know I do shitty research while trying to be a long-distance student. I know I love my wife dearly, and want her to be happy more than anything, more than finishing this damn degree or finding another career. I know she's struggling with career choices and feelings of failure, and would feel horrible if she thought I gave up my desires to make hers happen.

    I don't see many win-win scenarios that don't involve the (T/T or Powerball) lottery.

    But it can't be a competition between us. There are enough things in the world that would like to beat us into a slurry, we can't do it to each other. We are, by default, both running the same race, headed for the same finish line, on the same course, side-by-side. It only works if we are happy for each other in success, and help each other out of failures.

    And I have no idea which direction the finish line is in.

    AM, good luck. It's not an easy path, and there is no good answer. But getting there happy and together is more than just what jobs show up.

  18. I agree with one of Breaker Ben's comments. Your partner should suck it up. Departmental politics are a part of any job. The toxic folks are going away soon enough, and who's to say that a new dream job won't turn out to be a nightmare, too?

  19. I once got a job that looked fantastic - uni with a great rep, in a fabulous city, 5 year contract, benefits, all kinds of great stuff.

    Then I got there, and it turned out the job was to write the boss' PhD thesis for him while he went to Fiji for 18 months. All the other people in the unit knew that was what the job was, and thought I was complicit, so they hated me. The previous 3 people in the position had all quit, so the students I was inheriting halfway through their programs hated me because of all the changes.

    I lasted a month. Sometimes jobs that are really horrible are just not worth sticking with. You should both be applying for everything.

  20. Say, has your SO considered laying off the sauce, staying at his job, gaining tenure and seniority, and becoming department Chair? That's what I did (albeit not at an Ivy), and it's a gas-gas-gas. It's quite easy to get to be one, especially in a department where everyone thinks they're too busy to do much except their terribly important research, and it hasn't been hard for me to keep my research going. The best was giving my former Chair-from-hell my former class-from-hell (80 ed majors, DANGER Will Robinson! Ed majors!), and saying with complete sincerity, "I really do think you could teach this class better than anyone else in the department." When I said that, my smile was a fatuous thing, dreadful to behold.

    1. Yes!! This is our other plan, actually. That he sticks it out until these dicks retire, then runs for chair, and in the meantime I get something t/t nearby. It seems doable, too. Except that he had a particularly bad week last week and began rolling the "maybe I ought to apply for other jobs after all..." which drove me the above crazy.

      We have since sorted it out. :)

  21. Ah, well. I am so glad I got married. But that is neither here nor there. I am angry on behalf of all those not "allowed" to share in that legal status. Again, neither here nor there.

    AM, my husband is not an academic like me. But he had extreme job misery during the first part of our marriage. I am not sure what your partner is like, but my husband was just impossible to live with while he was that miserable. I could hardly stand it. I would have maybe even have left him but I had no permanant job and two small kids. Beaker's "just suck it up" admonishment to your partner, while reasonable, was something he just could not seem to do. Besides loving him, I was totally intertwined and dependent on this guy in so many other ways. For our situation, this is what helped: I threw myself into finding another job for him. I think I had it in my head that I'd find him as many jobs as might be necessary. It sounds sexist, right?

    But no relationship is ever going to be a fifty-fifty thing. There have been times when he has put in 90% and I have put in 10%. I think people are mentioning your marital status not only as it pertains to your legal benies but also as it pertains to your level of commitment. As the divorce rate clearly illustrates,
    Marriage is no guarantee of commitment. BUT, if you decide that you are truly committed to this guy, then who gets the good job is nothing next to your both being happy at the end of the day

    In my case, we moved a lot during the first decade of our marriage. It was tough times. Many people who knew me, or who knew us both, thought he was a big baby in terms of being so easily made miserable by work conditions. BUT, that passed. He found a job he could live with. He always HAD a job. I actually got a tt job near the one he finally liked. Now I dislike my job more than he dislikes his. (Sorry to all of you looking for a tt job......I feel like I should appreciate my job more just on your behalf...)

    I guess what I am saying is, and this is just my opinion, a solid, love centered, committed relationship is worth an awful lot of compromise. Only you can decide if you think so too....and only you know if you have such a relationship in the first place.

  22. Comic relief: I'm in the middle of a humanities PhD, and my husband is training to become an actor.

    1. I hope it makes you feel a little better! It can be difficult to make our plans complementary, but we try to focus on our joys and privileges. Good luck to you and yours.

  23. Anteater, set up a PayPal donation button now, and we'll do what we can to keep you from starving.

    1. Thanks for making my day! May I come back in a couple years when I'm disillusioned and he's a street mime?

    2. Actually, I was thinking that some form of joint busking might be in your future (he declaims, you interpret?)

      More seriously, you just might find a prep school that thinks you're the perfect couple. Of course, it helps if you like spending 24/7 9 months a year with teenagers.

  24. Hang in there! Knowing that the toxics in the department are leaving so soon certainly changes things up. If your SO is likely to have a much better situation as soon as the new school year begins, then what's the rush to jump ship?

    RGM: can we start a donation box for adjuncts, people in the humanities, and actors?

    1. We could create a fund for adjuncts who suddenly lose a class -- here, let us buy you a month of beans and rice!! I would totally give to that fund.


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