Tuesday, April 3, 2012

In the Grand Tradition of Myra Adele Logan (and Even Yaro!), I Present a Stream.

  • I love it when students bring donuts in the morning, but I wish classrooms had wet wipes nearby for cleanup.
  • My students think I'm very old. I think I'm very young. I've done the math. They're more right than me.
  • These are my favorite jeans in the whole blessed world.
  • Hubby is out of town and the house feels so cold without him.
  • I'm waiting to hear about an article at a really cool journal, and I hate how I'm questioning if my article is any good. I was sure of it before I sent it. Now I think I'm shit.
  • I remember in grad school writing my name in every textbook and taking care of those books all year. Students now literally fling their books around, leaving them, losing them. I know they don't read them or care for them. They're just impediments to their fun.
  • Students will like more easily about labs being closed or open than anything else. I've stood next to a student outside an open lab and been told, "There's no place on campus to print my essay."
  • I'd love to watch movies in class and do nothing but do literary analysis all semester. But I also hate how students don't seem to read anymore.
  • I have one colleague who just learned he has cancer. Nobody knows how to act. He's handling it better than I would.
  • I know exactly how much sick and leave time I have.
  • My mother thinks my students write nothing but essays about what they like to do. She thinks when I teach literature, that I make them read things I wrote. I love my mom.
  • How many perverts are on you campus? I know of 2 here.
  • Why do the exercise rooms have giant windows to the outside. I always take the treadmill the furthest away. I hate being sweaty in public, NEAR students.
  • I made a reference to the Rolling Stones last week. Most of my students had no idea who they were. I put a picture of them on the overhead screen, and it was all crickets.
  • I made a piece of fish for dinner so good that I just wanted to cry.

18 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 4, 2012 at 12:08 AM

    I go through a comically varied range of emotions when writing and submitting grants. I know how you feel. Hopefully you get to the "they wouldn't dare reject The Darla's paper" phase soon.

    Pick up the students' books they leave and sell them back to the bookstore. It serves them right.

    You put a picture of the Rolling Stones on the overhead projector. An overhead projector? What's wrong, you couldn't pass out mimeograph copies?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousApril 4, 2012 at 7:36 AM

      I'll eat my hat if Darla meant an old fashioned overhead projector.

      I have a media projector hooked up to a computer that is stationed overhead my class. Could that be it?

      Mimeos? Ooooh, that sweet smell. I get a little high just remembering.

      Delete
    2. Dr. ColossusApril 4, 2012 at 9:07 AM

      I actually have done that with some textbooks that were left in my classroom. I claimed a Calculus text a few years back that had been left on the windowsill for over a week, under the logic that ten days was the period necessary for the book to be reappropriated under international salvage law. The bookstore bought it back for $100 and some change.

      I also take abandoned Nalgene and Sigg bottles.

      Delete
  2. Merely AcademicApril 4, 2012 at 2:16 AM

    Hey, you missed the "I just picked up a recent article in my field, which is mine, in which I have published, and it cited about a trillion articles and none of them were mine. " Which could be because, you know, my work sucks and I am a dismal failure and everyone knows it and they're just too polite to say so. Going to go curl up in fetal position under my desk now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 4, 2012 at 7:33 AM

    Aren't you sweet!

    Perverts? Three here, darling. But everyone knows who they are, so it's not so bad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Compound CalicoApril 4, 2012 at 7:56 AM

    Donuts...

    ReplyDelete
  5. introvert.profApril 4, 2012 at 8:14 AM

    Darla, baby, if you are even ballpark close to your avatar, it doesn't matter how old you are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BurntChromeApril 4, 2012 at 1:29 PM

      I'm reasonably certain her avatar is Sofia Vergara.

      Delete
    2. introvert.profApril 4, 2012 at 2:49 PM

      By George, I think you're right. That's what comes of not watching much TV, I guess -- one doesn't recognize such icons of pop culture.

      Delete
  6. Dr. ColossusApril 4, 2012 at 9:03 AM

    I want the fish recipe!

    ReplyDelete
  7. GaryApril 4, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    Professor Keef:

    I was told you know about the Rolling Stones, so maybe you could help me with an argument I'm having with another student.

    Is it true that Paul McCartney was in another band before Wings?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BurntChromeApril 4, 2012 at 1:30 PM

      Many of them have no idea who Kurt Cobain was, and that's only 20 years ago now--at least not knowing the Rolling Stones is understandable.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousApril 4, 2012 at 11:20 PM

      Oh dear God. It was 20 years ago. Now I need (another) drink.

      Delete
    3. Professor Brown-CowApril 15, 2012 at 9:01 PM

      OMJFC. I'm old.

      Delete
  8. Karen AckoffApril 4, 2012 at 4:59 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousApril 4, 2012 at 11:21 PM

    Darla, don't change your picture. Baby, please!

    ReplyDelete
  10. LexApril 4, 2012 at 11:49 PM

    There's at least one pervert in my office. HEYO

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Contemplative CynicApril 5, 2012 at 12:36 AM

    Wait, where'd the avatar go?

    ReplyDelete

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