Real fucking ... but bizarrely twisted ... snowflake EMailI know I'm getting the grades I deserve. But, this is the end for me and I want to finish with a good GPA. I worked hard over the past year and so, but I have to admit that I am slacking because I feel overworked and tired, yanno? I am a winner and I will not give up or give in and I can't accept the effort I've been putting forth. Can you please help me and provide me with feedback that will enable to me earn better grades and finish with a great GPA.
Huh, what now?
Did you read your own admission, er, message?
But you still ask for "help"?
I really can't think of how to respond.
CM'ers -- Have at 'em!
When I read "this is the end for me," that brought up a red flag. Am I misinterpreting? I hope I am!
ReplyDeleteI think Snowy means graduation is imminent.
Delete"... want to finish with a good GPA"
Deleteleads me the same interpretation, EDoc.
"I cannot accept the effort I have been putting forth," totally deserves a "Sounds like a personal problem to me, soldier."
ReplyDeleteYeah, with overtones of "let me find the counseling center number for you before the depression and self-loathing turns to self-medication....)
DeleteI LIKE that one Ladder!
DeleteWhat worries me though is that this was actually an amalgam of several recently received messages.
I'm sensing the evolution of a new snowy meme -- laying the groundwork for a grade appeal by asking for "help" which, by definition, cannot be given.
As long as there is breath in my body, I will move left hand graphics and reformat Trebuchet text. If this is a deal breaker for anyone, please let me know.
ReplyDeleteThat should be in the Rules of Misery.
DeleteSheesh ... didn't realize this was a violation of sacred ritual.
Delete1) The left side graphic was deliberate -- in keeping with the bass-ackward nature of the student's message;
2) The font was defaulted by Blogger. I'm a fan of Arial personally.
In A&S's defense, the graphic itself is backwards.
DeleteAgain ... intentionally! :)
DeleteThis blog's default font is Verdana, as it should be. It shows as Times Roman in my screen, but whenever I post it is Verdana. Nearly every post I've seen is Verdana. I was warned about left graphics early on, and I'm afraid of anything else now.
DeleteI apologize for standardizing the post. I've returned it as close to possible as I found it yesterday.
DeleteAnd apparently made a few other adjustments as well, just to show us how bad it could get. Among other things, the font is too small (I know; so what else is new?)
DeleteAnd now I know that Trebuchet is, courtesy of wikipedia.
And now it's much bigger. Thank you; I think. I feel very powerful -- and a bit disturbed by that power. I'm not sure I want that much responsibility.
DeletePeople who say "I am a winner" are douchbags every time.
ReplyDeleteDear Snowy:
ReplyDeleteWhat is the grade that you would like to earn in this class? As of this point in the semester, it is mathematically possible for you to earn a (insert grade here).
Why don't you come to me during my next office hours with your notes for this class, and we can talk about improving your study habits and your performance so that you can get the highest grade possible for you? If you need to meet with me on a regular basis we can certainly arrange that. We can strategize, class-by-class if necessary, to make sure you are doing the best that you can.
I look forward to seeing you soon,
Dr. Stella
I've done that, too, Stella. Generally it means that you won't have to be bothered with this idjit for the rest of the semester. And you have successfully CYA.
DeleteAware and Scared, flunk their fucking ass.
ReplyDeleteNo exceptions.
The phrase "provide me with feedback" sounds like code for "Tell me what's going to be on every test and quiz for the rest of the term so I won't have to expend my precious energy actually doing the entire reading or actually attending classes."
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what the solution is, but I suspect this student has spent far too much time playing and/or watching sports. That's where the language is coming from; it's clearest in the repeat emphasis on the "finish," and in the sentence "I am a winner and I will not give up or give in and I can't accept the effort I've been putting forth," which is basically a series of three sports cliches run together in a row.
ReplyDeleteI'm not very fluent in the lingo of sports, or familiar with the structure of sports seasons, myself, but, looking at this, I wonder how much of the unrealistic thinking we see has to do with the sort of things they hear from coaches and/or sports announcers. The team that hasn't won a game yet this season is highly unlikely to win all the rest, but coaches (and fans) keep hoping, and encouraging others to hope, and doing the associated math, right? And maybe there's some sort of "wildcard" or "cinderella" possibility (as I said, I'm really not fluent in the lingo) that means that a team that didn't do that well in the regular season might still win the championship in the extra credit (er, bowl) round.
This would suggest that kids need less exposure to sports, and more exposure to the sort of day to day chores that are extremely worthwhile and useful and can even be satisfying, but that, no matter how well you do them, soon get undone and need to be done again: laundry, cooking, cleaning. Or at least to the sorts of sports and/or arts activities where the reward for mastery of one level is a new challenge that leaves one feeling, at least at the beginning, hopelessly incompetent all over again.
(Thus grumbles the curmudgeon as she heads off to deal with taxes, cleaning, or laundry. Or, of course, there's always that other sisyphean task: grading).
the sorts of sports and/or arts activities where the reward for mastery of one level is a new challenge that leaves one feeling, at least at the beginning, hopelessly incompetent all over again.
DeleteThe thing is, Cassandra, that they all play video games -- and a good video game will do exactly what you describe.
They don't apply the lessons to their schoolwork because schoolwork is "boring." This shows their limitations:
There are no uninteresting things, only uninterested people. -- G.K. Chesterton
"Last game of the year, Brent. Can't hold anything back now." --The Waterboy.
Delete@Introvert: I thought of that. I think the other part of the problem is that we don't instantly beep and warble and flash (well, not lights, anyway) when they do something well. The other side of the video game thing (and perhaps also a lot of sports experience) is the expectation of instantaneous feedback.
Delete"I am a winner" = I've never been told there's a middle ground between that and "I am a loser". Like, say, "this isn't a horse race, and I'm doing the best I can."
ReplyDelete"I will not give up or give in" = I'm not going to drop the class, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do anything else differently, because that would be "giving in".
"I cannot accept the effort I'm putting forth" = I have no idea what this means. I've been thinking about it for two days. WTF? Does it mean "I know I'm not working hard enough" - in which case, the solution is in your hands, son? Or does it mean "I shouldn't have to work this hard?" Or possibly "Given how hard I'm working I don't know why I'm doing so badly"? I have no clue. Is this sports speak that I've never heard? What does it mean out there?
@Merely: I think it's the 21st-century sports-speak version of the 19th-century (and before) religious "I have sinned but am not yet ready to repent," or "I do the thing I know I should not do" or something along those lines. The difference seems to be in the assigning of responsibility (though I suppose the similar religious state might include praying for the intervention of the holy spirit, or something along those lines).
DeleteMostly, I think it shows that this poor snowflake has not been given a vocabulary that is adequate to admitting fault, doing what one can to remedy the situation, *and* realizing that the situation is only partly remediable. Or, in other words, as you said, accepting that there's a middle ground between unqualified success and abject failure (and that most of adult life is lived in that space).
How about, "Its wonderful to see that you have such a positive attitude and are so determined to succeed. Its definitely a case of "better late than never". I suggest you visit the "Academic Learning Center" (or name of similar unit at your colleage), because they have the special skills to help you achieve your excellent goals. All the best!
ReplyDeletePoint taken, Red.
DeleteHowever, I am waiting for some backlash. I recently went to a "Please use us" meet-and-greet at our "Success Center." I left with a helpful set of boiler plate messages to use when referring students, keyed to their particular difficulty.
After the last batch of assignments, I referred fully a third of my Intro class using the "You're functionally illiterate -- How the hell did you get into this program?" referral template.
They didn't provide a "You are too gosh derned awesome to be doing so poorly" boilerplate.
I used to teach at a very expensive, very precious SLAC. You were really not allowed to criticize the little darlings in the narrative evaluations they received along with their grades, or their mommies would call you on your office phone. So I took to writing very fancy versions of "you are too gosh derned awesome to be doing so poorly," such as "Helga has yet to take full control of her considerable intelligence," or "Bjorn needs to develop study skills so as to be accountable to his native abilities." I always wanted to take a shower afterwards, but a job's a job, and it kept the phone quiet.
ReplyDeleteWhile this may be a grade grubbing CYA attempt from the student, actually quite a sophisticated one as it appeals to our desire to "save" the student, it may also be an honest plea for help -- along the "I've fucked up but I don't know how to fix it" spectrum. That's why I'd endorse the comments above about referring the student to the Center for Academic Excellence (or whatever) or to the Counselling Center. They are supposed to be the professionals at this. We break 'em, but we generally aren't qualified to fix 'em. But this stu has at least potentially taken the first of the twelve steps of academic recovery, admitting that they have a problem and that they need help. They now need to take the second step, following through on that call for help. And none of us can do that for them.
ReplyDelete