Don't Freak Out. Nobody is Going to See This Map at Your College and Figure Out YOU Are the One Faculty Member in Your State or Country That Actually VIEWED This Page and Are Therefore Unclean.
But this map, good grief, Cal, I can see my house. That's me in there, clicking my little "mouse," plotting the overthrow of a college system so big that it eats entire humans and passes them with the strain I use pass a small pea.
What if my Dean sees this! What if my department chair sees this. I'll never get that plum 2 pm class time anymore. I'll have to teach at 1 pm instead. And I may lose my parking spot. I may lost it all, all because of you and your fucking map.
What you say?
Oh, it's all made up? You just put those red thingies on there to fake like we have readers, just like that fake 5 billion page view thing over on the right?
It's neat that there's a country in the middle of Africa identified as "DR Congo"--as if the country has a little bit of an inferiority complex and wants everybody to know that it finally earned its PhD.
Due to our historically high popularity in Canada and Stelly's use of the entire Russian internet system as proxies, I'm inclined to think the markers show people not accessing CM this morning.
Cheers to our colleague in Nigeria! But we have got to increase our readership in Latin America. I volunteer to do outreach during Carnaval. What's my travel allowance from CM?
Don't you love maps? I love maps of any kind.
ReplyDeleteBut this map, good grief, Cal, I can see my house. That's me in there, clicking my little "mouse," plotting the overthrow of a college system so big that it eats entire humans and passes them with the strain I use pass a small pea.
What if my Dean sees this! What if my department chair sees this. I'll never get that plum 2 pm class time anymore. I'll have to teach at 1 pm instead. And I may lose my parking spot. I may lost it all, all because of you and your fucking map.
What you say?
Oh, it's all made up? You just put those red thingies on there to fake like we have readers, just like that fake 5 billion page view thing over on the right?
Never mind.
I strategically included two typos in the comment above, to test you, to show you that I'm not some silly bot. Bot. Bot. Bot. Bot. Bot.
DeleteHiram.com
I went to hiram.com. That's how stupid I am.
DeleteStrelnikov: Hiding behind 27 proxies.
ReplyDeleteYou hide so well that Mathesian couldn't even find you in a bar in San Diego despite the shitload of pins on your jacket!
DeleteOddly enough, none of them in Russia.
Delete"You hide so well that Mathesian couldn't even find you in a bar in San Diego despite the shitload of pins on your jacket!"
DeleteThat place was so dark, people were taking flash photos to find the bathroom.
It's neat that there's a country in the middle of Africa identified as "DR Congo"--as if the country has a little bit of an inferiority complex and wants everybody to know that it finally earned its PhD.
ReplyDeleteHiram, I didn't know there was going to be a grammar exercise.
ReplyDeleteWho are the poor lonely souls in New Zealand and Alaska? Raise your hand so I can see you.
ReplyDeleteDue to our historically high popularity in Canada and Stelly's use of the entire Russian internet system as proxies, I'm inclined to think the markers show people not accessing CM this morning.
ReplyDeleteAm I seeing one in North Korea? I always wondered what College Misery goes on in the Dear Leader's World.
ReplyDeleteCheers to our colleague in Nigeria! But we have got to increase our readership in Latin America. I volunteer to do outreach during Carnaval. What's my travel allowance from CM?
ReplyDelete