Me: No. You are obviously here for fun, so why should you want credit?
Cautious Charles: Is it ok if I write on the exam?
Me: No. You must transmit your answers via the 6th dimension.
Confused Christie: This question asks about the difference between hamsters and gerbils, but I don't remember what a gerbil is. Can you tell me?
Me: Yes. Would you like me to just hand you the key while I'm at it?
Entitled Edna: I came in ten minutes late, can I get ten extra minutes?
Me: Yes. Should I also fan you and feed you grapes while you contemplate the meaning of each question?
thanks Formatting Fairy!
ReplyDeleteI have a Terrified Ted in class. After EVERY quiz, he asks if he's supposed to turn it in. Everyone else is turning the quiz in and I'm collecting them. What makes him think he's exempt from this . My response is usually, "If you want a grade other than an F, assuming you earned a better grade than an F."
ReplyDeleteTed does not give in easily to peer pressure. That can serve him well in life, assuming he makes it through your class.
DeleteI once got the bafflingly vague question "what happens if we don't take the final?" This was not, I should add, a first-semester student, either. Now, there are reasonable questions that might be hidden within such a query, such as 'can we pass without taking the final?' or 'if there's an accident and I don't make it, what then?' Sadly, this snowflake was just sort of baffled as to how the grade would be calculated... even though it was spelled out in the syllabus.
ReplyDeleteI once had a student with a similar attitude. Shortly before the final, he figured out what his grade was, walked into the exam, scribbled something on it for a few minutes, and then handed it in and walked out. He figured he had nothing to worry about because he was eventually going to take over daddy's company and, so, was set for life.
DeleteI just had: can I still graduate if I fail this course? Duh.
ReplyDeleteAt the place I used to teach at, you could. I knew of a number of students who got their diplomas even though they were short some credits. My assistant department head was quite fond of one of them that he give her those credits.
DeleteThere is a process at my place of 'condonement' where a (strictly limited) number of failed courses (only those failed by effort, not by non-attendance or non-submission) can be 'condoned' allowing the student to graduate. It can be a huge relief all round to finally see some of these students move on...
ReplyDeleteGah! It's KILLING me how much like public secondary education the uni/college is starting to sound!
DeleteI second Mrs. C (we get graduates of the HS across the street from us who benefitted from this type of policy).
DeleteYou can fail but still pass/graduate at the university level? What. The. Fuck.
We are doomed.
Failed by effort?!?!? So they showed up all the time turned in all the assignments and still managed an F. Are they rewarding complete resistance to new ideas?
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