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| If nobody comments on THIS, I'm switching the gin with poison. Kidding. No, really, kidding. Maybe. |
I'm a pretty active member of the page, both as a poster and a commenter.
Sometimes my posts generate a lot of comments. That makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I'm worthy. That's wrong, isn't it?
Then other times I think up the world's greatest witty comment. I work on it. I craft it. I try it out loud.
Then I post it, carefully, right where it will work best.
And sometimes, like a few days ago, nobody replies. Nobody mentions it. People seem to be actively ignoring it, the brilliance, the wonder, the perspicacity.
And you know what I feel then? Shame. Embarrassment. I am covered by dismay and failure.
I swear to myself that I'll quit coming here. Goddammit to hell. You can all go to hell. My hard work, my engagement, it's all for naught.
Q: That's insane, right? Am I alone?
I'm glad you posted this. I don't feel this way about comments in particular, especially since most people read comments with a lens of "people in comments sections are idiots." The readers' brilliance sensor is turned down low.
ReplyDeleteI do feel this way about my main posts though. The ones I work on really hard tend to get very little reaction, and the ones I just throw together always get a lot more traction. It's weird. Unpredictable.
Me too!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, it wasn't me!!!! LOL.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm with the Monkey on this one. I'm usually a little surprised by which posts take off and which ones don't. Thoughtful things often just drift off the first page. Unusual topics sometimes go wild. Really really obvious topics - like adjunct stuff - often catch fire. But just like above, it seems totally unpredictable. I guess it depends on the number of eyeballs who see it, what day of the week, etc.
I often think WOW when I read a great post but I rarely comment.
I wish I still had Leslie K's words to me, written after I sent her an "Why am I such a moronic, immature, stuck in high school, crazy person sometimes when it comes to this blog?" e-mail. But I think I lost it when I cleaned out my e-mail a while ago.
ReplyDeleteI definitely have felt the same as you do, at times. And I KNOW I am being rather silly.
In the end, when I am done with my little inner rant, I usually tell myself what I already know. We are all busy, those of us on this blog. We are most of us pretty sarcastic, or we would not be here. We hurriedly reply, or not. We are sometimes a bit TOO sarcastic, but don't realize it. And sometimes we do. We smile and smirk at posts and comments and don't always say "Hey, great one!" cuz we get distracted or just don't have time.
I hope you keep coming around. I love the community here, for all it's shadowy angst.
Umm, this is awkward. Did I maybe post this last night? Sometimes I do things that I forget. It certainly sounds like something I'd say. Maybe the moderators can straighten this out for me. If I did post it, at least I did so anonymously. That's a relief.
ReplyDeleteI too agonize over the right turn of phrase. I also feel as you do sometimes. Like now, after some of the comments over my last post. Apparently I shot myself in the foot.....I'm sorry, I wish I could take my last post back. I'm still in the trenches along with everyone else, and probably will be for quite some time.
ReplyDeleteI felt this way about one post I made, but I haven't felt it about anything else. Then again, (a) I'm an un-self-conscious extrovert who has only twice in his life felt the emotion of embarrassment, and (b) I appear to be alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking if anyone is the crazy one, here, it ain't you.
I wish we had "like" buttons for posts and comments. Sometimes I want to be encouraging but can't think of anything much to say.
ReplyDeleteDitto, Kate. I read here quite often, but rarely feel that my comments could top some that have already been posted in terms of adding new thoughts.
Deletefor the record, I like the imagery of "covered by dismay" though the more I thought about it, i couldn't decide if the consistency of dismay was more llike syrup or frosting, and then I thought maybe dismay was more like a rash. Whoever you are, please keep posting, good posts or bad posts, controverisal posts or wimpering posts, I (and I imagine many others as well) need this post to maintain my sanity.
ReplyDeleteYou're not crazy to feel hurt...but look, there's no accounting for taste.
ReplyDeleteI blog myself. Some of what I consider to be my best posts sink to the bottom of the blog ocean like the submarine Kursk. Then I jot off one complaining about, say, how shaving my legs makes my skin dry, and it gets 20 comments and people re-post it. There's no rhyme or reason to it.
I'm often baffled at how posts go up around here.. I read the site several times a day - and frequently nothing happens for hours, then suddenly there's stuff I've missed that's off the front page. I suspect you're simply the victim of bad timing.
ReplyDeleteI love this place, but methinks you are putting too much weight on this community. I agree that a "like" button would be helpful for patting folks on the back, but absent that, often enough I just think "good post" or "good comment" and pass it by because there's nothing more to be said (at least not by me).
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I'm so introverted it makes people think I'm stuck up, and so I've learned to do without a lot of affirmation. I'm reminded of what Harry Truman said, about dogs. (Dogs are the only unconditional love that money can buy.)
I spend a week talking to classes and then look at the assignments and wonder if anyone heard a word. I'm no longer sure I exist.
ReplyDeleteI've learned that if I really want comments on the blog then all I have to do is say the word "cookies".
It's always just the four of us here, and you know the other three of us love you unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteWe need a list. Or do the 4 remain the same? Cal is Leslie and Fab and Ben and me, so that's one. Bubba, you are Strelly and Prickly. Stella is Kimmie, Myra, Cynic, and, well, Stella. And Yaro. He's the mastermind behind it all.
DeleteYou just need to take your "I don't give a shit" pills. And remember not to go to the internet for affirmation. That way lies madness.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that two people have already replied citing introversion/extroversion, since I was thinking along the same lines: as an introvert, I enjoy working out my thoughts in writing, and perhaps don't care (or at least not as much as an extrovert) if/how people respond. But I do enjoy it when people respond positively to my posts or comments, and feel a bit bummed if they're hostile, critical, etc. So I guess it's mostly non-response that doesn't affect me much.
ReplyDeleteThis tends to be true of my scholarship (and teaching) as well, with similar advantages and disadvantages: I don't get discouraged by non-response, but I sometimes think that a bit more awareness of/caring about audience response would serve me better in terms of improving my skills.
I am glad I am not the only want wishing for a alike button at times. I am often short on time so I just think, "wow nice comment" and move along! And I rarely feel witty so I hardly respond!
ReplyDelete+1
ReplyDelete(Yes, a "like" button or some such would be wonderful for situations like these. This post pretty well encapsulates my thoughts on the matter, but I simply can't be arsed to type a full reply sometimes, even if the post is insightful or well-written.)
I've had the like, love, etc. option up before but it ALWAYS gets abused. People click the worst option for EVERY post. Or they simply click every option for every post. The info generated always looked like: Love: 6, Like: 6, Yawn: 9. Some correspondents didn't like that! I'll try it today, though, to see what happens.
ReplyDeleteOh, and there's already the +1 Google thing in the little bar with email, Twitter, etc.
DeleteLOL.
DeleteI just "liked" this post (first one!), but I get Cal's ambivalence completely.
Cal, you crazzy mother. That like button is going to ruin many peoples' days. Mark my words.
DeleteWow! a like button has appeared!
DeleteSometimes I read a good post, but can't think of anything witty, sharp or supportive to say at the moment; misplaced perfectionism hits, and I leave it for later. When I get a chance to think about it again, it's gone from page one (hence "dated"), or something more compelling has come up.Since time is limited, I do prioritize (for comments) new posts in which somebody obviously put in some effort over links to material on other sites with brief comments, posts by someone who posted very recently, or topics beaten to death.
ReplyDeleteBut I have enough experience with internet discussion boards to not take things like paucity of comments personally. As said above, it is hard to predict which topics will take off. And it's not just OPs, it's comments. A while back I posted a lengthy comment on somebody's post, checked back a few times and there was no back comment. Waaah, waaah. It gave me teh sad. For a nanosecond. But in that case, I understood: I was responding rationally to an emotional (if articulate) outburst, kind of insensitive of me.
Oh no, please waste the "likes". The absence of "likes" would hurt me deeply, I might turn to heavy drinking. I promise never to hit the "like" button (if it stays.)
Oh, Leslie K says we had a question about busiest days. Over the long haul, these are the days with the most hits, in order: Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday, Monday, Friday, Sunday, Saturday.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when people claim they want more mods or they want contributors, I want to exclaim: "But I'm posting and no one is commenting!" Then I remember that just b/c someone doesn't comment or respond to my comments or posts doesn't mean they aren't reading (heck, I read and don't comment regularly)... It would be nice if many people said complimentary things, but that's just not going to happen. Then again, sometimes I get blasted by the community when they disagree with me and I want to crawl under my desk to hide from incoming assaults. It's the nature of an online community, I guess.
ReplyDeleteI try to be a faithful commenter. Why I don't post is beyond me, it's not like I have nothing to say. I must be a coward at heart. But it's also one place where not being in the spotlight suits me.
ReplyDeleteI read everyday. I usually check in 3 or 4 times, depending on what kind of day I'm having. I love most of the posts and comments on this site-- just yesterday I was thinking about how much I love the discussions here. But I rarely comment or post. I'm shy by nature, despite talking at undergrads for 15 hours a week, and I always ask myself: will my comment add to the conversation or am I just posting to show that I exist? Usually it's the second answer, so I don't comment. This might also be the second answer, but I'm commenting anyway. Progress?
ReplyDeleteThe dismay for me depends on the post. If I'm actually looking for feedback, it's nice to get comments. But if I'm just venting, like in my last post (which got a sum total of one comment), I don't really mind. What are people going to say, "Yeah, I hate people too." Only so many times one can say that.
ReplyDeleteHA! Only so many times they can SAY it.....
DeleteThere! Fixed.
DeleteSo many of you have said what I was thinking that it seems redundant to post a comment. Still, commenting proves that I wasn't the original poster. I could have been, though: I often invest more in my posts and comments than the internet warrants. Heck, when I was reposting weekly comic strips, I'd fret that I'd chosen wrong if one didn't get any comments.
ReplyDeleteBut my writing has improved since I've participated more at CM, and sometimes the near-constant self-criticism succumbs to joy about nailing a character or situation that we all share. I must confess: it felt very good one day to learn that I had a fan.