|I don't think I like
being in a fable.
She was a sensible sort. Kind of quiet. Tried to help people when she could. Wore flat shoes.
Well, one day, Proffie Amelia opened her e-mail, in the second week of class. "Good news, fair Proffie!" read the missive. "I have succeeded in getting the Uni to accept my AP credit, and therefore, I will be joining your merry band of freshpersons in the next class. I trust you will catch me up. Sincerely, THE Princess."
What sort of administrative uncle would tell this damsel that it was a good idea to join the merry band at this time, Proffie Amelia wondered to herself. But she kept it to herself, for lo, Proffie Amelia did not have tenure. She sent the class notes and syllabus from the first several classes to THE Princess with due haste and deference.
THE Princess turned out to be a fairly good student for a freshflake. She completed the reading and brought to class the royal notes so as to be prepared for discussion. She did well on quizzes and short assignments.
Then she did not do so well on one. "Proffie Amelia," she queried immediately after class. "I need you to explain why I lost these points."
Respectfully, for she did not have tenure, Proffie Amelia answered how THE Princess was incorrect in her understanding of the properties of hamster fur, believing that magic could explain what science had already explained.
"I don't think I like that answer," THE Princess stated, wrinkling her tiny princess nose in a way that was so cute that one's heart might break.
Some weeks later, THE Princess lost points on a writing assignment because, sadly, her writing did not say the very thing she wished that it would say. "I'm sorry, Princess," the untenured Amelia offered. "I can only grade what you said, not what you mean to say, for, behold, I am not located inside your head while grading your royal thoughts." The tiny princess nose wrinkled again. The princess left with several maidens of the court, saying loudly "I wish Proffie Amelia were more FAIR in how she evaluates the royal work."
Later that week, all of the merry band of freshpersons had a quiz on some of the reading. THE Princess was not pleased with a question on the quiz. "That was NOT in the scrolls, Amelia!" she stormed, her tiny princess nose flaring at the nostrils. "I have taken notes, as you can PLAINLY see. It is NOT in my notes." She began shouting. "Therefore, it was NOT in the scrolls, and you are UNFAIR to expect us to know things that are not in what you have assigned."
Proffie Amelia, the untenured, watched, dumbfounded, as THE Princess led the maidens of the court out in a huff, off to begin the Fall respite. And she wondered. For, to be sure, the answer to the question WAS in the royal scrolls, in seven places. But perhaps she should drop the question, in order that THE Princess might not influence still more others to be overly critical in the very important Princess Perceptions of Professorial Prowess that form the basis of the teaching portion of the tenure evaluation.
Moral: Lack of tenure makes Amelia unethical