Friday, January 16, 2015

Do We Still Link Shit Here? This Has Got at Least One Huge Inside Joke In It, the Apocryphal Military Student Who Defeats the Liberal Proffie Story, But Maybe Some Will Chuckle.

A college professor was addressing his history class. He began his lecture by saying, “Let’s get one thing straight: God is not real; the only God is Obama and the powerful female clitoris.” One student raised his hand and stood up and said, “Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt, but where I come from we don’t talk bad about God, because he’s our best friend.” The professor then said, “What are you, an idiot? Shut up, idiot. This is college and we hate Christ. Who do you think you are, Christian?” The student responded by picking up his bag, putting on his cowboy hat and punching the teacher in the face. “My name is Sgt. Johnathan Gunderson. And your plan won’t work, Goltar.” Because when the sergeant punched the professor, he punched the mask off of his face, revealing the praying mantis head underneath. “You’ve figured out my evil plan this time, Sgt. Gunderson. But as long as there are aborted fetuses for me to feast upon, I will always be stronger than America!” He then flew away to his lair. Share this status if you want to save America and end abortion.

 A college professor was addressing his history class. He began his lecture by saying, “Let’s get one thing straight: God is not real; the only God is Obama and the powerful female clitoris.” One student raised his hand and stood up and said, “Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt, but where I come from we don’t talk bad about God, because he’s our best friend.” The professor then said, “What are you, an idiot? Shut up, idiot. This is college and we hate Christ. Who do you think you are, Christian?” The student responded by picking up his bag, putting on his cowboy hat and punching the teacher in the face. “My name is Sgt. Johnathan Gunderson. And your plan won’t work, Goltar.” Because when the sergeant punched the professor, he punched the mask off of his face, revealing the praying mantis head underneath. “You’ve figured out my evil plan this time, Sgt. Gunderson. But as long as there are aborted fetuses for me to feast upon, I will always be stronger than America!” He then flew away to his lair. Share this status if you want to save America and end abortion.


4 comments:

  1. Froderick Frankenstien from FresnoJanuary 16, 2015 at 3:28 PM

    And then the college replaced the tenure line with a non-union, disposable adjunct too scared to challenge students in any way, and they all lived happily ever after, unaware that actually banning abortion rather than just railing about it would undermine Republican power almost as much as Nixon did. The End.

    (At least this didn't end with a bolt from the blue: that's been done before, but then come to think of it so has the bit about replacing a tenure line with an adjunct.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Froderick Frankenstien from FresnoJanuary 16, 2015 at 3:44 PM

      All lived happily ever after except the adjunct, of course, but that sadly has been done before too.

      Delete
    2. Froderick Frankenstien from FresnoJanuary 16, 2015 at 5:42 PM

      Oh, and another moral to the story, kids, is that when dreadful, French, non-Christian terrorists kill cartoonists because they don't like what they say, that's a violation of free speech, but whenever Sgt Gunderson in his cowboy hat punches a proffie in the face, that's OK. After all, only the good guys can be relied upon to act responsibly!

      Delete
  2. The Contemplative CynicJanuary 17, 2015 at 6:18 PM

    Because... science?

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)