Friday, March 27, 2015

"I Like" Friday

I was inspired by something in the comments here tendered by EC1 the other day. I thought, what if I were to do something similar at my normal day job? Ever the experimentalist, I decided to test the hypothesis that I could find something to "like" in every interaction with another person(s) on any given day. If my hypothesis is not refuted, then I could consider moving to phase 2. Some of yesterday's phase 1 results are below.

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To the students: I like the effort that you put into self-organizing to completely blow off three classes' worth of material while studying for the exam. I like how I can be so optimistic that you'll repeat the feat by teaching each other that material while cramming for the national qualifier, for which I shall like you a second time.

To the committee chair: I like the efficiency you have brought to this committee's meetings through cutting off the many voices save those of you and your toadies, which has undoubtedly trimmed several whole minutes from the discussion. I like that your approach has empowered many members to attend to other priorities during the meeting times, the result of which is that the meeting must adjourn for lack of a quorum if just one member leaves early -- more time savings! I like how this results in many items remaining on the agenda for up to six consecutive meetings, which affords the committee ample time to research the issues and craft well-considered motions, so that you may call for the vote with no discussion when your toadies move and second the opposite.

To my colleague: I like the way you feel so free to confide in me regarding your recent purchases, your brother's family, what's for dinner, etc. I like the soap-operaesque nature of these updates, e.g. the truth-is-stranger-than-fiction shenanigans of your nephew. I like how I am so included in your family's life that I almost feel like a member myself. I like that you spare me the awkwardness of making you feel awkward, if I should blush, gasp, snicker or sigh at the wrong time, by not telling me these things face-to-face but through the door of the restroom across the hall from my office. I like the way the slowdown of the WiFi while you are in there encourages me to get some actual paper paperwork done.

To the dean: I like how, in our meeting with others at your level, you made sure that I was "brought up to speed" on the situation because as you said, "we'll be here all afternoon if Hep doesn't understand this." I like that your subsequent exposition was well worth the ten minutes you took for it, and that you incorporated several words that were not in the email I'd sent you. I like the way your direct quotes from that email modeled good scholarship. I also like how you have helped me to be more empathetic by affording me the chance to, in some small way, experience mansplaining from another perspective.

15 comments:

  1. And I'm sure the Appreciative Educators/Advisors would like your attempt to put their principles into practice, because it's all about being appreciative of everybody else's efforts, isn't it? Or maybe they wouldn't appreciate your efforts? But if not, what would/could they do? It's an interesting conundrum.

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    1. Also -- right now I'm appreciating the energy with which I agreed to participate in various endeavors, academic and otherwise, in January, and the enthusiasm of the organizers of said endeavors -- who were nice enough not to bother me in February and March -- now bring to wrapping them up by mid-April.

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    2. I like that the organizers afforded you the opportunity to attend to other priorities during the past two months to clear your plate before the hard work begins in early April.

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  2. Hilarious post. The compliment cards--ICK! How easily could that backfire?

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  3. I'm almost afraid to ask...what happens in Phase Two?

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    1. No one knows what Phase Two is, but Phase Three is profit.

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    2. Pat gets the 2 points.

      As I was writing it, I was going to put that phase 2 would be printing up some actual "I like [how | the way | that | when] . . ." cards that could be completed like mad libs. But then I thought, hey, leave that on the cutting-room floor, and it leaves open even more interesting possibilities, such as skip directly to phase 3.

      In fact, I do have a Bostitch and an Ingersoll-Rand and I'm not afraid to use them.

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  4. I wondered if the originator's work had been taken out of context, or over-extended in some way (Mehrabian comes to mind), but no, the dude's just had a frickin' building named after him.
    http://www.champlain.edu/about-champlain/newsroom/cooperrider-center
    It was, apparently, "a magical day".

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    1. EC1, I wanted to give you a compliment card for brilliantly capping off the conference proceedings discussion. However, I had lost all the ones I received at registration, and nobody had given me one yet, so I was depending on the one you had offered in the "stat p0rn" post of several hours ago, which has now disappeared. So please consider the sincere thought.

      Now, given the above glimpse into your browsing history, as a friend I wish to express my concern that you are trawling areas of the internet that may lead to great gastrointestinal distress or even picking up something communicable. I think you might want to taper off a bit, and/or perhaps distract yourself with investigating more wholesome material, e.g. that involving after-dark games of capture the flag and cordless electric chainsaws.

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    2. I came across this stuff trying to find the origin of the "student as customer" line of "thought"....it's really hard to pin down.
      It's also hard to find peer review level stuff on whether there is any actual benefit to treating them as such. Somebody on CM once said that it was connected to the "self-esteem" movement, but I couldn't find any (academic) links.
      But yeah, my internet habits.....still, at least as far as the office goes, it looks like I find kool-aid entirely to my liking.

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  5. So, I'll confess: I know someone who teaches a class in Appreciable Inquiry. He is not a kool-aid drinker, the class is but one in a diverse curriculum, and I could read the syllabus without even flinching. Thus I think it might not be complete bullshit and could even be a useful addition to an otherwise well-outfitted toolbox.

    Even so, when I see a building named for a specific activity, I think that a curriculum featuring that alone is not far behind if not already realized. And then I need to find that comfortable spot on my desk to pound my head into.

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    1. Hey, it's worth investigating. For one thing, if no one ever investigated the actual effects of praising children in exaggerated/unrealistic ways, we wouldn't have evidence that it actually hurts them.. And it's certainly handy to know how to give praise that actually spurs people on to better, harder work.

      The danger comes when "positive thinking" of various kinds is portrayed as a magic cure for all sorts of ills, from cancer to unjust working conditions to ill-prepared/overwhelmed/uncooperative students.

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    2. I see that I conflated several things, then acted so as to appear to dismiss the whole lot. That was bad form on my part.

      That's a neat article you linked, Cassandra; thanks for it. It voices what I thought might be wrong with the self of steam movement. It would seem that even naive (i.e., still early in their education) children have a sense of when they're receiving reward for unearned achievement (I suspect this is why we're squeemish at the idea of compliment cards). I imagine that they cope with the cognitive dissonance in multiple ways, one of which is strive to succeed at only mundane tasks to keep the drug (praise) coming, as the article indicates. Another might be to change their belief system such that they expect that praise is due to them simply for being who they are. Still another might be to believe they are in fact the talented people that they're told they are. None of these is mutually exclusive of the others.

      As I understand it, appreciative inquiry attempts to understand the strengths of something (hopefully in the context of all other traits), such that they can be built upon and/or leveraged in taking that something to a new level. This is not the same thing as cherry-picking the good things and excessively praising them as if they were all that one would need. That woud be like writing checks that the account couldn't cover.

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