Kid walks up to my open office door yesterday. Don't recognize him.
"Have you got a minute?"
"What do you need?"
"Are you a math professor?"
"Yes. But I'm not yours am I?"
"No, but could you look at some equations for me?"
"Why don't you take them to your own instructor?"
"You didn't look busy and he's in his office eating a sandwich."
Scene!
"Have you got a minute?"
"What do you need?"
"Are you a math professor?"
"Yes. But I'm not yours am I?"
"No, but could you look at some equations for me?"
"Why don't you take them to your own instructor?"
"You didn't look busy and he's in his office eating a sandwich."
Scene!
We truly are interchangeable.
ReplyDeleteWell, fuck me. Apparently, when I'm huffing down a sandwich at my desk, I must not look busy, because the little dears* will ask for special help even then.
ReplyDelete* And I use that term in the most affectionate sense. Wait, that came out sounding mildly sarcastic. And now THAT sounds sarcastic. I just can't do anything right anymore.
I take that back: I CAN do things right. You might not think so, but that's just because I am succeeding in ways you don't understand.
DeleteAs you know, it needs to be the kind of sandwich that counts.
DeleteIt's heartbreaking to think that yours are not that type.
The sooner you come to value my special sandwich, the better for everyone. By any measure, my sandwich is way ahead, except when it is undervalued by your older methodologies. It is a better sandwich in a variety of ways---in the right tests, of course, the ones designed for its uniquely special uniqueness. Only the most advanced and sophisticated people operating at a different level can even see my sandwich, much less recognize its superiority and replenish it so it can get on with the business of fulfilling my great metabolic requirements.
DeleteOPH if your special sandwich does not get recognized you can send a hateful and vulgar e-mail to the moderator. This act in and of itself, speaks volumes.
DeleteIf my clearly superior sandwich wants any emails of that nature to be sent, it does not need me to be its footsoldier. My sandwich is more powerful than Chuck Norris. It can send its own email with just an Underwood and a rotary phone, that's how badass my sammich is.
DeleteThis is gold. I'm going to try it on my next annual report.
Delete"It may look like I haven't published squat since I took on all these new administrative duties, but that's just because I'm smart and capable in ways you don't understand. The sooner you come to value me and my special gifts, the better for everyone."
I think that'll go over well.
HEY! I made the page. Love this blog. So glad it exists and glad my little story made it. Still thinking it over. Should I have helped? Geez, it never occurred to me.
ReplyDeleteYou might help if the exercise will be mutually beneficial, otherwise sending the student to the tutoring center or hir proffie is better, for reasons I hope are clear below.
DeleteIf I am not in a rush, I might help another proffie's student work through a problem once or twice a semester. I state up front, "Please understand, I can't do your research or homework for you, because I won't undermine a colleague's assignment. The value of the task is that you're supposed to struggle a bit on your own, because that helps you learn and retain it. So you're going to do all the work. I may ask you some leading questions to help you figure out for yourself if you're on the right track, but I'll seldom if ever just give you a direct answer. If we reach a point where we can't go on because there's something you don't know, you're going to look it up yourself." If they're OK with that, we can proceed. Sometimes they suddenly have something else they have to do.
As much as learning styles are poo-pooed, some kids are kinesthetic learners in that they can experience a disconnect between watching someone else work through a task vs. physically doing it themselves. So I'm trying to help them see that they can lead themselves through making that connection. In a similar vein, spending a few minutes with a student every now and then keeps me connected to what we're trying to do.
Great story.
DeleteShould you have helped? You're better off donating your time at the homeless shelter.
I think you're onto something, Ben. I've been told that at the shelter, the clientele is actually quite likely to be actively interested in availing itself of the resources there (e.g., the running hot water).
DeleteNow, we must bear in mind that the populations who come to the shelter, and those who ask not-their-proffie for help, are self-selected from their respective populations at large. Wouldn't want to make any sweepinggeneralisations, yaknow.
By the way, Tommy, thank you for this new material today.
DeleteThing I wish students would come to office hours to ask me:
ReplyDelete"Can you help me understand [important concept]?"
Things I have been asked in office hours:
"Where's Professor X?"
"Can I use your stapler?"
"Can I use your phone?"
I get asked "Where's Professor X?" A LOT!
DeleteI sometimes respond, "have you tried looking in the last place you saw them?" Another one is "hiding from you."
Delete