How low Dr. Amelia's standards have dropped.
- I am sincerely grateful when a student emails to cancel a conference they scheduled even if it's an hour before it is supposed to happen. "They bothered to write!" I think.
- When the journal editor writes to say my paper was bumped to the next issue, which means it won't be on my annual report for this year, I am thinking "well, it'll get published sometime."
- We had a 2 percent raise pool, with 1 percent of that designated for merit. I got 3 and feel like I won the lottery. "That's like 20 pizzas, you guys..."
- When senior Sally craps out 2/3 of a semester worth of work the day before grades are due, I'm grading it without time penalty just so I don't have to have her again.
I am grateful that my joint hasn't - yet - started some kind of scrip system, in which I get paid in Batshit U pesos that can only be spent in the Batshit U supermarket.
ReplyDeleteI am further grateful that so far our merit assessments don't include counting the number of our children / nephews & nieces etc we have enrolled here.
Both of these ideas would probably appeal to he who should be named.
"he who should be named"... Strudel?
DeleteIt was Stommel, and he's now as a different university, and quite proud to be a digital pedagogue.
DeleteActually I was thinking of President Horween Visage, Batshit U's rebrander-in-chief.
DeleteBut I'm sure he and Strudel would get on well.
Oh, I figured from the context that you were talking about your president. I was riffing on a recent case of "he who should NOT be named" morphing into "he who should be REnamed."
DeleteI was slow on the uptake (as ever) but at least got a kick out of coming up with (printable) name for the guy.
DeleteH. Visage is very good, as is Batshit U. (well, except for the fact that at least half the institutions of higher learning -- or whatever it is they're/we're actually doing these days -- in the U.S. could credibly be rebranded same).
DeleteI also like the fact that Strudel goes well with OPH's cheeses (metaphorically/genealogically, and also as a meal).
I have to admit that, having (almost) met him, I'm less inclined to beat up on Strudel, at least until and unless he says something outrageous and attention-getting on the internet again. Prior history would suggest that that is likely, but it's possible that he was in a temporary bad place. As we've noted above, boasting and insecurity tend to go together. The question is whether the insecurity was/is temporary, brought on in part by outside/systemic forces (this happens to the best of us, I think, on occasion, though the cries of distress can take forms other than boasting, so that may still be diagnostic), or whether it's a permanent or at least frequent state of mind (in which case you need to look inside the mind in question for causes).
And I think (re: #1) "wow! a half hour to myself!" And then I basically stare at the computer screen (or the wall) for that time because I'm so exhausted.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, "merit" raises are only meaningful when they come on top of regular COLAs. When the COLAs masquerade as merit raises (and are completely insufficient to either purpose), it's depressing at best, and sows dissension at worst. I tend to think that even distribution is the way to go in such situations. Still, congratulations on what I'm sure is well-deserved, if meager, recognition of your hard work. The fact that 3 feels so good just goes to show that proffies these days are badly approval-starved as well as money-starved (and time-starved, and sleep-deprived. . . .on which note I'll go to bed).
I am also sincerely grateful when a student emails about a skipped appointment.
ReplyDeleteThese days, I schedule appointments for when I'll have been in my office for at least 15 minutes beforehand, by which time I'll be so engrossed in my work that I don't even notice that they've stood me up. That evening, I'll get an email asking to reschedule, listing availabilities such as "tomorrow and the day after". I often don't answer those emails for 24 hours, because, well, I'll be busy, but when I do answer, it's to say that the next day is already booked, so sorry.
Amelia, why do you allow them to catch up on missed work at the end of term? I sense it's a common practice in many places, but it's not common where I am. And in my courses, a missed item (except for rare, documented cases) is an automatic zero. The end of term allowance sounds brutal for you (piles of stuff), and discombobulating (because you never know if or what might come).
ReplyDeleteI can't speak for Amelia, but many of them, perhaps based on high school experience, seem to expect it, and it can be hard to prevent them from at least trying to hand stuff in/complete stuff, especially if the primary mode of submission is via LMS or email (and if you shut down the inbox on the LMS, many of them will email anyway).
DeleteThere are definite problems with accepting the work, many of which you've already named (there's also the question of fairness to students who play by the rules), but sometimes, when I'm already inundated with on-time last-minute grading, it's easier to take a quick glance at stuff and give it a grade (with appropriate deductions for lateness, or even not, if the student is arguing there's a reason that should outweigh the announced penalties) than to deal with the back-and-forth with the student about not accepting the work.
I'm getting a bit better at saying "just don't" when it comes to students trying to make up a dozen or so tiny assignments that contribute to 10% of the grade (often when they should be working on the big final assignment worth 50% of the grade instead), but I'm still not as good about it as I'd like.
This is among the many reasons that I'd really like to get my grading done sooner (though I'm not quite sure how to manage that). Those few days when I'm scrambling to finish grading and many of my students have already finished exams, and a few of them (it's usually only a few, but those are enough) are peppering me with questions and complaints about something worth three points that was due in week 3, or even week 10, are just exhausting -- physically to some extent, but mostly mentally.
I would really, really like to go back to a world where the final grade is based only on a few papers, tests, or similar during the semester, and a final exam or paper, and all the "homework" and feedback thereon is simply there to help the student work through the steps of mastering the material and/or completing larger assignments. But we'd all have to go there together, because otherwise students are going to overfocus on the graded assignments, even if the contribution of those assignments to the final grade is miniscule. Also, many of them seem to need the carrot/stick of grading to work at all, which I'm sure isn't entirely their fault (they were brought up that way), but aargh.
I've actually bought myself a "rec'd" stamp that I apply to late papers. A self-inking, red stamp. And I gradein green pen to spare their tender feelings.
DeleteWe have a good opportunity here, Miserians. What "lowest common denominator" have you learned to be grateful for? Here are a few of mine:
ReplyDelete* The students camping out in our conference rooms have discovered that the gym has showers. They are also quite good at making pyramids of the trash that exceeds the receptacle's capacity---each meeting brings a new piece of art to admire.
* Personnel in my building are quite student-centered, in that they have an open-door policy. Not for their office, but the conference room. That they're too lazy to lock when they're done with it. So that aforementioned students can stake claim.
* Most of the time, the toilet paper that remains in the restroom is enough for me to, uh, file my paperwork. But I keep a spare roll in my office anyway.
* I get at least some cardio every day because of the shitty elevator in the Donorbucks Building, the buttons of which are either connected to /dev/nul or an intermittent reinforcement Skinner Box.
* The students who are most disruptive most typically migrate to the back row during weeks 2 and 3, then stop coming altogether. Next semester, I won't have as many names to learn, since about 10% are ones I already know.
* Then there's some other stuff I am grateful for.
Enjoyed reading that stuff again, OPH.
DeleteI guess that Appreciative Advising is something else Strudel and Pres. H. Visage would, uh, appreciate.
(Although given that he thinks Dewey refers to Donald Duck's nephew, maybe HV would need some time on that one).
The biggest thing I'm grateful for (in a lowest common denominatory kind of way) is that my joint has a program that perfectly fits students who don't / won't do the work our program requires. We advise them (in an appreciative manner) that it may be a good choice for them, and they almost always make the switch.
I like that your joint has such a program. It turns out that we don't, but I like that there are so many other schools that do, such that our former students can succeed in them.
DeleteOh my goodness! This has been the most pleasant quarter of an hour I've had all day!! I LOVED reading that old post! My head is muddled right now, having listened to 19.....yes 19 speeches at a college event today. But I'm sure, after reading all this that I appreciate SOMETHING from today. I am going on a walk with my two sweet beagles mixes, and I will contemplate!
DeleteThat my students here at Fresno State still confine their amorous activities to sheep, and not yet to other barnyard animals.
ReplyDelete