Thursday, November 1, 2012

Axe + grinding stone = plan? A Big Thirsty for the Ages.

It's Old School here with one of my long-standing goddamned pet peeves. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Digital distraction is ruining education. Ruining the mind itself. (Yes, of course, technological tools have many great merits, and I exploit those virtues in my teaching. But tools are good only if they're used wisely. Tools = good. Distraction = bad.) I wish I could tune out what I now see in front of me every day in the classroom, but I can't pretend it's not happening. Sure, I've asked the living dead, er, my students not to use devices for non-course purposes. It's even an official course policy (as though that should impress them). But that's like putting a bone in front of a dog and expecting it not to do the obvious.

They're addicts, I know. But when I'm giving them my personal best -- clarity, expertise, years of experience, and visible passion -- and even throwing in new media for spice, yet at least half of them don't even know what universe they're in, so entranced are they by their all-in-one entertainment machines -- well, I have to wonder why I or they bother to be in the room. As sagacious commentators have noted, we proffies can't compete with these omnibus pieces of technological handiwork that offer television, movies, music, pictures, chats, celebrity and sports sites etc. -- literally in the palm of one's hand. Impossible, I think, even if we try to turn our teaching into a circus (which would just debase our profession and student learning).

I honestly feel that I simply can't work properly under these conditions. I can't do my job when, without exaggeration, at least half of my students (maybe even most) make last night's Halloween zombies look like paragons of cognitive acuity. And, yes, their grades reflect their pea-brained attention spans and frequent inability to understand even the simplest notions, no matter how well explained by me, the talking head whose visage and voice I'm sure they wish they could minimize as they would a pesky online pop-up screen.

Do I use an incremental approach, first reminding them of the rules, and then singling out the worst offenders and working my way down the chain if need be? Do I ban the idiot boxes altogether? (Sure way to get snuffed in a nuclear fashion on the class eval.) All I know is that the natural devotion to teaching that I've always had is being extinguished by this relentless march toward the insipid. (I also don't think that getting rid of lectures, putting more courses online etc. is the answer. This problem points not just to a transformation but a degradation of consciousness itself and interpersonal life that bears vast implications.)

Q: Is teaching dead?

Late Night Misery--The tale of Absent Allen

Screw you LMS for telling Absent Allen that I am currently logged on. He emailed me because he knows I am currently logged in to the LMS. I can't hide this.

I refuse to hit reply. I do not care if my evaluation from you says I "wasn't available." Absent Allen, read the syllabus. There is no homework due tomorrow. Why? If you rtfs you would see that there is a midterm tomorrow. You missed two classes in a row. You missed the review. You had such potential until you missed half a chapter's worth of material. You really did.

Why am I awake still when I have to leave the house in four hours to freeway fly to get to work? Because, Absent Allen, I am still writing the exam I am giving you tomorrow.

Your email has made me reconsider any mercy I was feeling for you or your compatriots. I'll see you in five hours. I think I'll giggle when I'm grading the hell I am about to unleash on you.

Oh, and when you ask me tomorrow, dearest Absent Allen, why I didn't answer your email even though I was logged on, I am going to feign shock and say that I must have left my computer signed in. I just saw your email as I was making photocopies. Terribly sorry old chap.