Disconsolate Desdemona With an Early Thirsty on The Dissertation Tip.

I'm not yet finished my doctorate, out of funding, and need work to support myself so that I actually *can* finish this thing. I know the degree likely won't lead to an academic job, but I do really want to finish it, and this will take at least a year or so. Applying for adjunct positions (which I continue to do) has been a complete wash -- there are too many people with already-completed doctorates, and years (or even decades) of teaching experience going after the same jobs. My TA experience seems to count for nothing, in spite of publications, a polished portfolio, teaching-training courses, and great evaluations from both students and supervising faculty.

So, I am applying for "regular-person jobs", and, so far, am getting nowhere. You would think that doctoral-level study in a writing-heavy discipline would be good experience for working as a receptionist, at least? Nope, not without years of experience and a diploma in Administrative Something-or-Other. What about retail? Nope, you need experience there too, and, even moreso, you apparently have to be very young and conventionally attractive. (When you inhabit a socially stigmatized body, one that causes people to view you as inferior, broken, lazy, and stupid in spite of your achievements, doors slam shut pretty damn fast, and hard.)

So, what about back-room types of jobs, where the public doesn't have to see me, then? No luck there either yet. I've taken every relevant career-skills workshop I can, and have had professionals review my resume and cover letters, so the problem doesn't seem to lie there. I'm starting to wonder if it's only possible for people who are already wealthy, or attractive enough to get married to an employed spouse, to actually complete a doctorate? I'm neither.

Q: What, then, can I actually do to support myself through the already-onerous process of writing a dissertation? What did *you* do? Or your colleagues?

Today's Early Thirsty. Anita Sedative (Get It?) Is Trying to Divine Chairperson-ship.

I am an associate proffie at Mundane State and living the sweet life of the tenured and neglected. I teach courses in my little corner of the discipline, publish at a respectable clip, and shoulder my share of service obligations. I'm not the brightest star in the scholarly sky, but you can spot me if you squint.

Despite my own mundanity, however, I've learned that there's a groundswell of support to anoint me the next chair of the department. Quite a lot of politicking and jockeying normally happens when it comes time to elect our chair, but the Dean's machinations and a few organized blocs of voters normally determine the outcome. One of their emissaries has hinted that the job could be mine if I want it.

Do I?

I've been at MMU since 2005, and I've labored under two chairs here. Let's call the first Chaz the Chairlatan. Chaz is a savvy careerist, one who gunned for a life on the administrative side of the line since Day One. He used his four years as our feckless leader to cozy up to the Powers That Be, and now he's crossed over to the Dark Side of academic affairs. He didn't leave the department in ruins, exactly, though he always served as an agent of our inept Dean. They're part of a little club of cronies that is nearing retirement and/or departure for greener pastures, so Chaz had no qualms about doing the Dean's dirty work. He navigated rough waters pretty well, with all the confidence of a rat ready to abandon ship.