This will be a multi-part series of texts and e-mails (letters, postcards, and telephone calls don't seem to exist these days) sent and received by our dear Snowflake whom we shall call Dani (because "Danielle" is just not cool enough).
Part 1
March 2010
Dear Daddy,
I went to the study abroad meeting 2day! 50 of us showed up. 2 peeps, i can't believe it, actually want to go away for a WHOLE year! Why would they want to miss Football Saturdays? The Christmas parties!? And another spring break down in the Keys?
<3>
Your Princess Dani
Dear Dani,
Honey, people do want to go away for a whole year to experience new things. You may not be tired of partying in the Keys but they are. As for learning foreign languages, I think it's really a wonderful thing to have these days, honey. Maybe you can pick up Portuguese when you're there? Who knows, maybe employers will be impressed that you spent time in
Here's the deal. I do value studying abroad and I understand your need to stay with your friends at the U. I remember those good days when I studied in Spain and backpacked all over Europe with my buddies. $5,000 is a lot of money. But if we make it your 21st birthday present, it's a deal. As for the seat upgrade, let me check my miles. What airline would you fly on? And as for spending money, I doubt that you would really need that much as I imagine that there won't be a lot of clubs in the Amazon. But I'll get you an AMEX just in case one of those monkeys swipes your wallet and you'll get a new card within hours.
Love,
Dad
(To be continued...with an e-mail to Proffie M reagrding logistics)
Waaaaaaaaaait a damn second. Is this for REAL? Are you fucking kidding me?
ReplyDeleteIt's not real, unless she hacked into some student's account, which would be illegal. Posting electronic exchanges, even anonymously, without the subject's consent, is also illegal.
ReplyDeleteWait, is John's question real? I hope not. For the sake of this page I hope not.
ReplyDeleteI'm as confused as John. Is this really an imaginary story about an imaginary snowflake? What would be the point?
ReplyDeleteI got the impression this was his child's exchange, which she shared with him (assuming "Lindsey" refers to a "Buckingham" and not a "Lohan").
ReplyDeleteOr this is Mom posting.
I think it's a fake though, which misses the point of the blog. Real stories of real misery.
Maybe it's fictive though? A fictional recreation of an actual event! They can be fun. Just like most #1 bestselling memoirs!
Satire, people.
ReplyDeleteBut if it's real, it's so much more interesting. Please tell me it's real, and how the hell you acquired it. I can easily imagine a student at CU-Boulder, nearby, writing this letter, which then really makes me wonder whether it's real or not. And yes, some female students DO call themselves PRINCESS!
ReplyDeleteSatire has always been a part of the RYS experience. She pointed out primly.
ReplyDeleteI like hyperbole. Give that to me in big buckets. I have enough regular misery on my own. I don't mind if the fictive occasionally ramps up the drama.
ReplyDelete