Sunday, August 15, 2010

This place needs some more alcohol

Hey all! I decided that academia is worthless without alcohol. And in that vein, I have been looking for something. I have had people tell me how awesome lentils are and, frankly, I'm not sure that anything is worthwhile unless it can be made into alcohol...especially beer. So, can anybody tell me where to get some lentil beer? If not this, can you at least get me a recipe for lentil beer? If not this, can you at least tell me a joke/funny story involving beer?

I will start with the stories:

When I was a child, my mother, my siblings, and I had gone out for the day and left my dad at home. He went to the neighbor's house and got drunk. Upon returning to our house, we found a man who slightly resembled my father at first, but upon closer inspection looked nothing like my father, wrapped in the living room area rug. He was rolled up like a rolled taco. My father, on the other hand, was nowhere in the house. We later found out that he was hiding in the backyard because the neighbors were "after him." The next morning, the man ate breakfast with us, and then he left, never to be seen by my family again. The neighbors must have forgotten that they were after my dad because he never did get attacked in the backyard. The things that beer does to people...

Mathsquatch out.

(Edited to correct a minor mistake.)


  1. Some days, I doubt there is enough in the world to satisfy me. And there probably isn't enough but eventually I pass out and that solves the short-term problem.

  2. While I was an instructor at a tech school, I often joked that the best state to be in was half-drunk: sober enough to know what one was doing but sufficiently numb to not care.

  3. I want to know what the "minor mistake" was. Actually, that was your father in the front room rolled up in a carpet like a Dad taco? And he had been drinking lentil beer?

  4. I recently started brewing beer. It's awesome. Now, for half the price of cheap store-bought beer, I can get drunk off cheap beer I made! Sometimes, it even tastes good.

    I'd been worried about how to support my drinking habit on a TA stipend, but now my beer comes in 5 gallon batches.

    I just wished they'd last until the next batch ferments.


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